


Starting over Together

by lalaitskelcey



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Ghosts, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, forcebaby, reylobaby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21937975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalaitskelcey/pseuds/lalaitskelcey
Summary: Rey and Ben explore their new relationship, and deal with the aftermath of the defeat of the first order together.—On Hiatus—
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 36
Kudos: 245





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter for updates, and other silly things! @lalaitskelcey2

Ben could barely stand, but he knew he needed to get to Rey, he could feel through their bond that she was gone, but she couldn’t be. He wouldn’t let her be. He forced his feet to work, and dragged himself to her. It pained him to see her still, unmoving face. He pulled her to him, held her close. ‘Come back to me’ he thought, as he closed his eyes, and placed his hand over her lower abdomen, and remembered what she had done for him. He took a deep breath, and willed life into her, willed her to breath again. He felt the strange transfer of energy from himself, into her. He felt dizzy, but when he felt her place her hand on top of his, he opened his eyes. She was looking at him with amazement. “Ben.” She breathed out his name, with a smile on her face. She brought her hand to his face, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. She pulled his face towards hers, until their lips came together. Ben brought his other hand around her waist, and pulled her even closer. When they came apart, but not too much, their foreheads still pressed together. They smiled at each other, so full of joy. He brought her back, she's ok. He was willing to sacrifice himself, all for her. He could feel himself fading, but at least the last thing he saw could be her smiling at him. He collapsed back, and Rey clutched for him. She leaned over him, tears coming to her eyes. “No, please…..” With one last breath, he whispered, “I love you.”

_No, not you too._ Rey says to herself. She could feel Ben fading. She brought her face close to his, touching their brows together. She tried to give him back some of the life he had just given to her, but she was too weak. “Please!” She exclaimed, barely holding back a sob. She sat up, and placed her hands on his chest. She called out through the force, to Luke, Leia, to anyone who could help her. _Give me the strength to save him._ Many voices reply to her, _You can save him, we will help you._ She feels the power well up inside her, and focuses it all on Ben. _Stay with me._ He gasps, and she collapses next to him, her head on his chest. “Rey,” he whispers. “Why did you-” She sits up and interrupts him. “Why did you?” She says, as her tears finally spill over. “You had to have known you would-” she trails off, not wanting to finish that sentence. He reaches a hand up to her face and cups it. “Because I couldn’t let you go, not when I finally found my way to you.” She closes her eyes, and leans into his touch. His thumb caresses her check. She opens her eyes when she feels him sitting up. With his hand still on her face, he says, “We should probably get out of here.” She nods. She stands slowly, and reaches a hand out to help him up. He sways, and almost looks like he’ll fall. She grabs his arm, and puts it over her shoulder, then puts her arm around his waist. He leans against her, and mumbles “Thank you.” She looks up at him, and sees him smiling at her. She smiles back, and the two of them think to the future. Whatever it has in store, it will be ok, because they’ll have each other.

_

Thank you for reading! Please know that I am new to writing Star Wars Fan fiction. I just felt so incomplete after watching TROS. I know many other people have started writing similar fanfics, but after reading a few and loving them, I decided I wanted to try writing my own! I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism! ~ Kelcey


	2. Only Just Begining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll deserve it, if they do shoot me. After all I’ve done.” She reaches over and takes his hand, and squeezes it. “I won’t let them shoot you, especially not after all the trouble I went through to bring you back.”

Getting out of there proved to be a bigger challenge than either of them imagined. Both of them were still weak and drained, and Ben’s leg seemed to still be broken, though not as bad as before Rey had healed him. They slowly make it to Rey’s ship, and she tries to reach Finn, or Poe, or anyone who could help them, but the com systems seem to be down. But as she starts to give up hope of reaching someone, she swears she can feel Finn reaching out to her. “Finn?” She says aloud. Ben looks at her, a look of confusion on his face. “FN-2187?” She nods slowly. “I could have sworn I heard him just now.” She looks around, almost thinking she’ll see him. But he isn’t here. But she hears it again. _Rey_. She gasps. _Finn? Are you there? Where are you? How are you doing this?_ She turns back to Ben. “I did hear him. He’s communicating with me through the force.” He looks puzzled, but amazed.

 _Rey, I don’t know how I’m doing this, but I could feel you calling out, and I just-_ he seems to take a deep breath, _-I don’t know, focused on you and suddenly I could hear you. But I also felt something else earlier, I thought you died. It was an awful feeling._ She sighs, not even knowing where to begin. _I did, but I’m ok now, I promise. I’ll explain it all to you later, but I need you to send a ship, with medic droids. For me and Be-_ She stops herself, not knowing how to briefly explain to him what's happened with Ben, and Finn still believing him to be Kylo Ren. She starts again, _For me. I need medic droids._ She turns to Ben, and realizes he must be aware of what she's saying to Finn, because of their force bond. _I’m on the falcon still, with Poe. We can come get you. We’ll set course for Exegol, we should be there soon, just hold on for a little bit longer._

That complicates things, Finn and Poe coming here. She’ll have to think of what to tell them, before they shoot Ben as soon as they see him. She sits down next to him, and looks at him expectantly, hoping he knows what to say. He gives her a sad smile. “I’ll deserve it, if they do shoot me. After all I’ve done.” She reaches over and takes his hand, and squeezes it. “I won’t let them shoot you, especially not after all the trouble I went through to bring you back.” His smile brightens a bit, and he squeezes her hand back. This is all so new to her, to both of them. But Rey suddenly finds her thoughts going to the kiss they shared, and she feels her cheeks warm. She starts to look away from him, but he gently catches her chin. “Don’t look away, please.”

He looks at her so adoringly, she feels her face flush even more. He begins to pull her face towards his, but slowly, giving her a chance to pull away. She reaches for his face, and then their lips meet. He wraps his other hand around her, just as he had before. His hand caresses her neck, and she moves her hand back, feeling his hair. She had wondered how it would feel in her hand for quite sometime now. He gently bites her bottom lip, and it doesn’t hurt, but she startles. He senses it and pulls away, looking apologetic. “I-I’m sorry.” He starts to remove his arm from around her waist, and she puts it back, her other hand clinging to his shirt. “No, it wasn’t bad.” She stammers, unsure of these strange feelings she’s never had. She smiles at him, and presses her forehead against his, to reassure him. He sighs with relief. “I don’t have any experience with…. stuff like this.” He says shyly. She pulls back just a little, to look at him better. “I don’t either.”

She sees suddenly that the scar she gave him, what feels like so long ago now, is gone. She runs a finger over his forehead, down his cheek. “It’s gone, the scar.” He brings his hand up over hers. “It must’ve been when you healed me, on the Death Star.” She feels shame suddenly, remembering that she stabbed him. “I’m so sorr-“ he interrupts her “Don’t apologize, please. You did what you had to do.” He closes his eyes and squeezes her hand. “Did you mean what you said, that you wanted to take my hand?” “Yes.” They hear the unmistakable sound of the Falcon, coming towards them. They both look up, and it’s getting ready to land 50 feet from them. Ben gives her a worried look, “I have a feeling this won’t be pleasant.” She mumbles her agreement.


	3. Old Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben can’t remember the last time he was on the falcon, probably not since he was a teenager. He looks around, amazed it doesn’t look any different, except maybe a little cleaner.

As the falcon is hovering above the ground, preparing to land, Rey reaches out to Finn through the force. _Finn, before you get off the falcon, I have to tell you something. It’ll be shocking, but please just trust me._ She senses his confusion, but he says, _I’ll always trust you._ She replies, _I did what I set out to do months ago, when I went to the Finalizer. I turned Ben Solo back to the light._ She feels his shock. _What?! How is that even possible? How do you know its not a trick?_ Rey sighs, but continues. _He came to Exegol to help me. We fought together. You did feel me die, Finn. But Ben brought me back._ Finn is quiet for a moment, processing this information. _This is a lot to take in, but as I said, I’ll always trust you. Poe might take some more convincing._ She breathes out her relief, glad for Finns trust. She figured it wouldn’t be as easy to convince Poe.

The falcon land finally, and she stands. She helps Ben stand as well, again with a supporting hand around his waist. He squeezes her shoulder as the falcon door opens. Finn comes out first, with Poe close behind, holding his blaster up. “Poe!” Rey says, with an exasperated sigh. Finn pats Poe on the shoulder and says something Rey can’t hear. Poe gives him a doubtful look but lowers his blaster. He turns to them and says, “I still don’t trust him. But I won’t shoot him, for now.” He glares at Ben. “One wrong move, and I shoot your ass.” Ben nods, “I don’t doubt it, pilot.” Rey slowly walks towards the falcon, Ben staggering along with her. “Finn, can you help, please?” Finns gives her an apprehensive look, but comes over to Ben's other side, to help get him on the falcon. “I want to make it clear I’m doing this for Rey, not for you, Ren.” “Ben. His name is Ben.” Rey tells him. “Whatever.” mumbles Finn.

\--

Ben can’t remember the last time he was on the falcon, probably not since he was a child. He looks around, amazed it doesn’t look any different, except maybe a little cleaner. He’s sitting in the lounge seat, next to the hologram board. Rey asked him just to stay here for now while she talks to the pilot and FN-2187. No, he goes by Finn now, he reminds himself. He feels his leg, trying to determine how bad it is. He winces as he prods the worst part, feeling a lump where his bone is sticking out. That’ll take some time to heal. He leans back looking at the ceiling, and remembering long nights with his father, when he didn’t want to go to bed. _‘Come on dad, one more game!’_ He’d plead. His father would chuckle, and pat him on the head and say, _‘Alright Ben, one more game. But then it’s really bed time, I mean it!’_ He sighs, and closes his eyes as the memories wash over him. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever stop feeling guilty, or responsible for how everything turned out. He killed his father, and his mother would probably still be alive if not for him.

“Stop it.” He hears Rey say softly. He opens his eyes, and sees her sitting next to him. “Feeling guilty won’t change whats happened. You’ll have to learn to forgive yourself. I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll be here to help you.” She places her hand over his. He nods, glad to know she’ll be by his side. “How did your chat with Finn and Dameron go?” She frowns slightly. “Just about as well as you’d expect. Finn is still skeptical, but willing to trust me. Poe is even less sure. He wants to lock you up and take you back to the resistance base to stand trial.” “That would be fair.” He’d done terrible things, and the few good things he’s done wouldn’t be enough for people to forget. “And what do you think?” He asks Rey. She gets up and starts to walk towards a storage area. “I’m going to get you something to help with the pain.” She's avoiding his question. “I don’t need anything.” He tells her, trying to sound convincing. She doesn’t buy it. “Yes you do.” She walks around the corner, and comes back a minute later with the supplies. She hands him some pain reliever, and a glass of water to wash it down with. “It should help a little, until we land and can get you to a medic.” He sighs, as the medicine starts to take effect. He feels the ship go jump to light-speed. “It’ll probably be about an hour till we get back to the base. You should sleep.” Rey tells him, and he looks at her closely. She looks just as exhausted as he does. “You should, too.” “Alright then, we’ll both sleep.” She sits down next to him, hesitates for a second, then lays her head on his shoulder. He feels fluttering in his stomach, but then leans his head against hers.

\--

They’re awoken when the ship goes out of light-speed. Ben lifts his head off of hers, and she sits up and stretches. She almost couldn’t believe she had laid her head on his shoulder, but it just felt right. She stands and walks towards the cockpit, and is surprised to see that they are in an unfamiliar place. She comes to stand behind Poe and asks, “I thought we were going back to the base.” “We did, this is the base now. Welcome to Naboo.”


	4. Secret Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll told you I wouldn’t let you get shot.” He chuckles, “I never doubted you.” "Liar." she says, giving him a rueful look. He pats her knee, then squeezes it. “Thank you.”

Naboo. Rey had heard of this planet before, but not much. They had stood against the Empire in the early days, and their queen had been executed. But they had still harboured Jedi in the palace secretly. Rey had also been told that Leia’s mother had once been their queen. “Apparently Leia had still been communicating with them secretly, planning for a place for us to go.” Poe says, looking out over the lush green landscape. “Most of what's left of the resistance is already here.” Rey can’t believe how beautiful Naboo is. So many trees.

She realizes she should probably go tell Ben what's going on. She turns on her heel and heads back to where he’s sitting. He looks like he’s still waking up, probably made worse by the pain medication he took. “We’re landing now, on Naboo.” She says, as she sits down next to him. He gets a look of amazement on his face. “My grandmother's home planet. I never thought I’d return here.” “You’ve been here before?” Rey asks him. He nods solemnly, “When I was a small child. My mother brought me, when she was meeting with the current queen. I just vaguely remember running through the gardens.” He gets a hazy look to his eyes, as he remembers his past. Rey realizes with a start that they haven’t discussed the passing of his mother. She’s wondering if she should ask him, but decides that can wait for later. Finn comes from around the corner and announces they’re landing now. “You should probably come out first, Rey. To explain.” She isn’t sure her explaining would make things any easier, but she agrees. She turns to Ben, to see he’s already looking at her with an understanding look. “I’ll be right back.” He nods.

Rey, Finn, and Poe step off the ship, and see Rose, and Lieutenant Connix coming towards them. “Finn!” Rose exclaims. She practically runs into him, Finn rocking backwards, and throws her arms around him. Rey silently chuckles at the sight. Poe shakes his head, with a smile on his face. Roses steps back frowning at Finn. “I can’t believe you took off like that! Didn’t even say anything!” She turns and looks at Rey. “Hey Rey, glad you’re ok!” She gives Rey a much more composed hug, and Rey smiles at her. “Thank you, Rose. I’m glad you’re OK too.” Lieutenant Connix stands close by, watching with a smile on her face. She steps up next to Rose. “Now that our two generals are here, we were hoping you could tell us what you went rushing off for.” Poe puts a hand on Finns shoulder. “Finn here heard Rey calling out to him in the force, asking for help. So of course we had to go help. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to let anyone know.” Rose and Connix both give Poe a confused look, then turn towards Finn. “The force? You can use the force?” Rose asks him. Finn shrugs. “ I guess so. It’s new to me, I just recently discovered it.” “Anymore surprises we should be aware of?” Connix asks. Poe snorts, “Funny you should ask.”

—

Ben sits, looking around the falcon, and wondering how it’s going out there. He wonders at what point several people from the resistance will come storming up here, ready to arrest him, or shoot him. He decides he’ll let whatever happens, happen. _I’ve told you, it won't come to that._ Rey says through the bond. Ben sighs, he wants to believe her, but he knows the things he’s done won’t be forgiven so easily.

_We’re coming back on board with some people._ Rey tells him. He braces for what’s about to come. A moment later, Rey comes around the corner, Finn and the pilot behind her. He also sees two women he doesn’t recognize. Finn is looking at him apprehensively, Dameron is scowling at him with his arms crossed. The two women are looking at him with a mixture of suspicion and confusion. “Rose, Lieutenant Connix, I’d like you to meet Ben Solo.” Rey says, with a hopeful look on her face. Ben nods at both of them, not knowing what to say. The taller of the two women turns to Rey. “ You’re positive we can trust him?” Rey nods. “He saved my life, and he helped me defeat Palpiltene.” The Lieutenant shakes her head, “As you said earlier, but still…” she trails off, again looking at him. “I can give you whatever information you ask for. I’m sure you already know pockets of The First Order soldiers and generals are out there, waiting to take back control. I know where many of them are.” He says, trying to ease their disdain, if only a little bit.

The shorter one turns to Finn. “What about you two? What do you think about this whole thing?” Finn crosses his arms, mimicking Dameron. “I don’t know exactly what to think of him, but I trust Rey.” Poe frowns. “I’m not so sure. But if he tells us everything he knows about the first order, I’m willing to not shoot him.” Rey nods, knowing she won’t get much more than this. “Now that that’s aside, can we get him a medic? His leg is pretty bad.” “You need to see one, too.” Rey rolls her eyes, and corrects her statement. “We both need to see a medic.” Rose turns to walk back off the ship, calling out over he shoulder, “I’ll go find one.” The Lieutenant comes to stand close to Dameron and Finn, talking at a whisper. Rey sits down next to him, and smiles. “I told you I wouldn’t let you get shot.” He chuckles, “I never doubted you.” _Liar_ she says, giving him a rueful look. He pats her knee, then squeezes it. “Thank you.”

—

Later, after she’s been seen by a medic and sent off with a mostly clean bill of health, she’s going to the room she was told Ben was being kept in for now. She sees Poe standing by the door, his blaster still on his hip. “What are you doing here?” She asks him. “Keeping watch.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Yes, I realize if he really wanted to he could easily get out, doesn’t mean I have to trust that he won’t.” “Whatever makes you feel better.” She says, giving him a pat on the shoulder. When she goes into the room she sees Ben is laying down on a cot, and his eyes are closed. His leg is wrapped with thick bandages. She sees the doctor in the corner, talking to the medic droid. “How is he?” She asks the doctor. She taps on the holo pad she’s holding and turns to Rey. “It’s just a straight fracture, so it wasn’t too hard to reconstruct. It almost seems like it had already healed a bit. Are you sure this just happened?” It must be from when she brought him back. “Yes.” She looks quizzically back at her holo pad. “Most unusual. But I applied a heat seal, so he should be back to normal in a few days. I gave him a mild sedative, so he might be out for a few hours.” She nods, and the doctor and the medic droid leave the room.

She pulls a chair up next to Ben, and takes the opportunity to look closely at his face. He has dark circles under his eyes, matching her own. She starts to reach out to brush the hair from his face, but hesitates. The doctor did say he’d be out for a few hours, she thinks to herself. She brushes the hair away, and then brushes her hand over his cheek bone. She then trails her finger down to his jaw line, noticing the stubble. She starts to pull her hand back, when suddenly he reaches up and catches it, pulling it back to his face. She feels her face flush with embarrassment. “I thought you were asleep.” She mumbles. He chuckles and opens his eyes. “I figured.” He brings her hand to his mouth and kisses it, with a drowsy look on his face. She’s grateful the lighting in the room is so dim, because her face must be bright red. “What was that.” She says with a laugh. He smiles, and presses her hand to his cheek. “Rey.” He says with a content sounding sigh. She realizes he must still be out of it from the sedative. “I meant what I said, Rey.” She looks at him questioningly. “Meant what?” He closes his eyes, and rubs the back of her hand, still against his face. “After I healed you, right before I, you know.” She racks her brain, trying to remember. Had he said something right before that? “I don’t remember you saying anything.” He sighs, and opens his eyes to look at her. “I said I love you.” Her face freezes, unable to look away from him. “O-oh.” She stammers. He reaches the hand out that had been holding hers, and cups her face. He smiles again, then his eyes slowly dip closed, and the hand slides down her face. She catches it, and holds it next to him on the cot. She continues looking at him, wondering if he’ll wake back up, but he seems to really be out now. Still holding his hand, she leans back on the chair, resting her head against her shoulder. She's trying to process what he told her as she starts to drift off as well. Her last thought before falling asleep is _I love you too._


	5. Be With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She blinks slowly, her eyesight adjusting. She gasps, because the arms around her are Ben’s

The first thing Ben notices when he wakes up, is the warm hand holding his. He slowly opened his eyes, and sees Rey leaned back in a chair next to the cot he’s laying on. She’s asleep, with their clasped hands resting on her lap. He smiles at the sight. He very vaguely remembers having a conversation with her. He remembers her face being warm, had he said something embarrassing? He carefully sits up, trying not to move the hand she still holds. _‘I said I love you.’_ He feels his own face go red. I can’t believe I told her that, he thinks to himself. He hopes she just thinks he was being silly. He meant it, of course, but everything with them is so new. He’d hate to risk it with his sudden confession. But deep down, he’s known it to be true for quite some time. He just couldn’t admit it to himself until Kylo Ren died. It had confused him, and angered him before, not understanding his feelings. When Rey had told him, _‘I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand.’_ It had changed something in him. He had never thought that she might feel something for him too.

He feels Rey shift, and when he looks over at her he sees her eyes open. She smiles sleepily and says, “Did you sleep well?” He smiles back, “Yes, I did. How about you?” She stretches. “Well enough. Think I might have a sore neck though.” She rubs her neck with her free hand. “How’s the leg feeling?” She asks. “Better. Hopefully I’ll be able to walk on it again soon.” She nods. “The doctor said it should be back to normal in a few days. He also noticed it had already healed some. I didn’t say anything to him, but I think it might be from when I brought you back. Too bad I didn’t heal it completely.” “Hey, I’m just glad you brought me back to life.” He teases. “I wanted to ask you, how did you bring me back?” She looks down at their joined hands, thinking. “I asked for help. From anyone who could.” She looks back up at him. “I heard the same voices who spoke to me when I defeated Palpaltene.” He furrows his brow at that. They had helped her bring him back? They thought him worthy of coming back? “Did you hear my mother's voice?” Rey moves, to sit on the cot next to him. “I-I don’t know.” He closes his eyes. “I wish I could apologize to her, even if she could never forgive me.” He feels Rey’s hands cup his face, “She would have. She wanted, more than anything, for you to come back to the light. She never gave up on you.” He feels tears come to his eyes, and for the first time in many years, he lets them out.

—

She sees silent tears go down his face, and her heart lurches at the sight. She gently pulls him down so his head rests her shoulder. He wraps his arms around her, and he shakes with silent sobs. After a few minutes, he sits up, and wipes his face with the back of his hand. “Thank you, Rey.” She gives a small smile. “Of course.” “I mean it, for everything. For not giving up on me, even when I had.” She moves back to her chair, and finds herself thinking about his sudden confession last night. “Ben? Do you remember anything, from a few hours ago, when you woke up?” He averts his eyes. “Some. I said something silly.” He says, with an ingenue sounding laugh. “Just forget whatever I said.” “Did you mean it?” She asks him. He looks at her again. “That you love me?” “Yes.” The door to the room opens suddenly, startling them both. “There you are, Rey! Come eat dinner!” Finn says. “I guess he should come, too.” Rey chuckles, and turns back to Ben. “Do you think you can walk?” Ben stands, and when he tries to move the leg that’s healing, he winces and sits back down. “Don’t think so.” Rey looks around the room, and sees a wheelchair in the corner. “That’ll work.” She points, and when Ben sees what she’s pointing at he frowns. “No way. I’d be fine with crutches.” Finn chuckles, and Rey shoots him a look. “I don’t see any here. You’ll just have to use that for now.” He grumbles, but doesn’t argue with her further.

They’re on their way to a ballroom that been converted to a mess hall. Finns filling them in on some of what’s happened while Rey pushes Ben. “After we took out the rest of the fleet, whoever was left at base moved to Naboo. Poe and I were just about to head there when I heard you.” “When did Leia set this up?” Rey asks him. He thinks for a second. “I’m not actually sure. Connix probably knows.” Ben clears his throat just then, “Sorry to interrupt, but is bringing me in front of the resistance soldiers a good idea?” Finn crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “I’m fairly certain most of them haven't even seen you without the mask. Otherwise, I’d agree with you.” Ben nods his head, and doesn’t say anything else. When they get there, Finn holds the door open for Rey to push Ben in. They see Poe sitting at a table already, so they head that way. When they get close enough, Poe looks over and frowns. “Why’d you bring him here? Just leave him in the infirmary.” Rey sits down with a huff of annoyance. “If he didn’t come, I wasn’t going to either.” Poe rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything else. Finn just stands there awkwardly for a second, then clears his throat. “Anyways, I’ll go grab some food.” “I’ll help you.” Rey says, as she starts to get up. “And leave me with him? No, I’ll go.” After they go, Rose comes over and sits with them. “Poe's been really grumpy today.” She says, with an amused smile. “Really? Couldn’t tell.” Rey says, with sarcasm. Rose chuckles, then looks at Ben, “Uh, how's the leg?” Ben turns his eyes toward her. “I-its good. Much better than yesterday.” Rose nods, then turns her attention behind them. “Mind if I sit here?” Lieutenant Connix asks. Rey and Rose shake their heads, “Of course not, have a seat.” Rose tells her.

\--

Ben can’t think of much to say to them, nor does it appear any of them can either. For the most part, Ben just eats quietly. When everyone is done, Finn tells them they’ve had rooms assigned to them. “Everyone else already got theirs, but you were both in the infirmary so, didn’t think it mattered at the time.” He shows them to Ben's room first. “I’ll come see how you’re doing in a bit.” Rey says, then leaves with Finn to go to hers. He’s ready to get out of this stupid chair. He stands, and hops awkwardly on one leg over towards the bed in the room. The room itself is luckily not that large, with just enough room for a single bed and a dresser. He finds some plain white clothes folded up in the dresser, but is unsure if they'll fit. They look much too small. But, he’d like to get out of his torn up sweater, so he decides to try. The shirt just barely fits, the sleeves only going to his elbows, and if he stretches his arms it rides up on his stomach.

Just then, someone knocks on the door. “Ben? You alright?” Rey asks him. “Uh, yes. You can come in.” She comes in, and Ben can see she’s changed into similar white clothes as the ones he wears. Her hair is also down, and her face has been washed. “Oh my, need to find you a different shirt.” She jokes. He smiles, and then looks away. “Look, about what we were talking about earlier, we can just forget about it. I hadn’t even meant to tell you, just the medi-” She sits down next to him, and cuts him off. “I don’t want to forget. I was going to tell you, I feel the same.” He looks back at her, she has a shy look on her face, and a slight blush to her cheeks. “I-I love you.” He reaches out, and cups her face with both hands. He isn’t sure which one of them initiates it, but their lips come together. This time is different than before, he feels … he doesn’t know how to describe it, but it amazes him. Rey is running her hands through his hair again, and Ben wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. She breathes against his lips, “Ben…” He feels his heart rate accelerate, and he's not sure if its through their bond or being pressed against her, but he can feel her heart beating just as fast. He starts to feel a very intense desire for Rey, and pulls slightly back from her. “What's wrong?” She asks, breathless. He takes a deep breath, “I don’t think we should…” She frowns, “O-oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” “No, no, please don’t misunderstand me.” He rests his forehead against hers. “I just think we shouldn’t move so quickly is all.” He whispers. She quietly chuckles, and gives him a peck on his cheek. “You’re right.” They stay in eachothers arms for a moment longer, then Rey stands and smiles at him. “We should probably go to bed. I don’t think either of us has had a full nights sleep for a while.” “You’re probably right. Good night.” “Goodnight.” She opens the door, turns to look at him one last time, then leaves and shuts it quietly.

\--

When Rey gets back to her room, she shuts the door, then leans against it. _I can’t believe I did that. Can’t believe we did that._ She puts her hands over her face, and slides down to the floor. Her lips feel a little sore. She runs a finger over them, thinking about how Ben’s lips felt against her own… she can feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. Had she felt, desire for him? It must’ve been what that was. She’s glad he stopped it when he did. She shakes her head, as if to scatter the thoughts away. She stands, and walks to the fresher. They had given her a room with one, why she didn’t know. She splashes cold water over her face, and looks at herself. Her cheeks are still very red, and her hair is ruffled. She starts to smooth it down, but remembers she’s about to go to bed so it doesn’t matter anyways. She goes back to the bedroom, and flops herself on the bed. This must be one of the softest beds she has ever slept on. She pulls the blanket over herself, and sleep finds her quickly after that.

_‘Come back!’ She screams, desperately trying to get away. Mamma, poppa! Don’t leave me! ‘It’s alright. I’m with you’ Someone says to her. She doesn’t know who it is, but it comforts her. ‘I promise, I’ll never leave you.’ She feels strong arms embrace her, and she wraps her arms around them in return. ‘I will be with you always.’_

The dream fades, and Rey takes a deep breath. She’s had that same dream several times before, but she can still feel the arms embracing her. She blinks slowly, her eyesight adjusting. She gasps, because the arms around her are Ben’s


	6. Wonderful Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mother?” Just then, she slowly materializes right next to them. Leia has a warm smile on her face, and her eyes are shining with tears. “My son. I’m so happy to see you.”

She holds her breath, afraid she’ll wake him up. They must have force connected while they were sleeping. She is laying on her side, with her back towards Ben. His left arm was wrapped around her waist, with his right arm underneath her head. She wonders how her heart hammering so loud doesn’t disturb him. But it’s a nice feeling, his warmth at her back, feeling safe in his arms. She turns her head to look at hm again, and he looks very peaceful. His eyes are fluttering rapidly, and she wonders what he’s dreaming about. She can feel her own eyes growing heavy, so she turns her head back and rests it on his arm again. She lays her arm over the one he has around her waist, and drifts back to sleep.

When she wakes, she’s alone again. She sits up and stretches, wondering if he’ll remember it at all. The only thing for her to wear is a long sleeved white dress, with ruching around the waist. She frowns, making a mental note to retrieve her spare clothes from the Falcon today. The dress is just slightly too long for her, and trying to walk to Ben’s room is not easy. When she’s almost to his room, she steps on part of it, and falls towards his door. His door opens just then and she falls right into Ben. His arms go around her immediately, and he rocks back but stays upright. “Sorry! This stupid dress is too long!” She steps back and lets out an exasperated sigh. He smiles at her, trying to keep from laughing. She can’t help but smile back, and suddenly finds herself remembering being in his arms last night. She feels her face start to warm, so she turns away and starts walking so he doesn’t see. “So how's the leg?” She asks him. He quickly catches up with her, walking beside her. “Good, it doesn’t hurt anymore. The doctor said the bandage can come off tomorrow.” “That’s good.” Her face seems ok now, so she turns to look at him. He’s wearing a sweater that actually fits him today, it’s grey with strange patterns all over it. His eyes meet her, and she glances away, hoping he didn’t notice her staring. When they make it to the dining hall, there’s not many people there.

She sees Finn and Rose sitting at a table together, and they go and sit with them. “Where is everyone?” Rey asks when she sits down. “A lot of people left this morning, to either go back to their homes, or track down some of the lone factions still holding on. His information helped us find a lot of them.” Finn says, looking pointedly at Ben. “When was this all set up?” She asks Finn, but Ben answers her, “When I was seeing the medic today, Finn and Dameron came and got the locations from me. I gave them advice about how they should take them out.” Rey’s eyes widen at that. “You mean, Poe actually listened to what you said?” Rose chuckles, but Finn has a serious look on his face. “Well the first group we sent out, everything checked out and they took down that faction, then we sent multiple other teams out.” Rose cuts in, “Poe was very stubborn about the whole thing. Almost insisted he go with the first group. But it all turned out just fine, right?” She turns towards Finn. He shrugs, “Yea, everything turned out fine. Still just waiting to hear back from the last two groups.” Ben nods, “I’m glad it all worked out. Wish I could’ve gone and helped.” “Not with that leg. But why wasn’t I asked to go?” She turns back to Finn. He leans towards her, raising an eyebrow. “I think you’ve done enough. You’ve earned the break. Plus, he told us you were still sleeping.” He points at Ben. He must have sensed it through the bond. “Fine, but the next time, I can go.” Finn just chuckles.

They find a quiet empty room that they decide to use for meditation. It’s been a while since Rey had free time to do this, and she thinks Ben could benefit from it as well. They sit on the floor with their legs crossed, facing each other. She closes her eyes, and reaches out to him through the bond. _Just let it wash over you_ He seems to sigh _It’s been so long, since I’ve meditated and felt the light._ They sit quietly for a few minutes, when Rey feels something. _Rey_ someone says to her, and she gasps. ”Leia.” her eyes fly open, and she sees Ben looking around the room. “Mother?” Just then, she slowly materializes right next to them. Leia has a warm smile on her face, and her eyes are shining with tears. “My son. I’m so happy to see you.” Ben stands, and bows his head to his mother. “Mother, I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but-“ Leia shakes her head, cutting him off. “I’ve already forgiven you. I should ask you to forgive me.” She reaches her hands up and cups his face. “I failed you. I should’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry, Ben.” A tear goes down Ben's face, and he places his hands over Leia’s. Rey puts a hand over her mouth, hoping to stifle the sobs trying to come out. She wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. She can feel her own joy, and she also feels Ben’s relief, and love for his mother. Leia wipes the tears from her sons face, giving him a bright smile. She then turns to Rey. “Rey, I hope you know how eternally grateful I am to you. You brought my son back to the light.” Rey stands, and shakes her head with a smile. “ I only helped him, he came back to the light on his own.” Leia nods at this, and steps towards Rey. “I am grateful nonetheless.” She pulls Rey in for a hug, and she feels her heart swell with emotion. She steps back, gives Ben a hug as well. She then speaks to both of them, “I don’t know how much I’ll be able to visit, but I’ll try to when I can. I’ll offer my support with the coming challenges you’ll face.” Rey looks at Ben, and he looks as confused as she is. “Mother, what challenges?” He asks her. Leia just smiles, and fades away.

—

Ben is walking through the gardens now, trying to figure out what his mother could have meant. Rey is in a meeting with Finn, Lieutenant Connix, Rose, and other members of the resistance. Rey asked him to come, but Ben knew other people wouldn’t be comfortable with him being there. Could she have meant the challenge of making amends for the things he had done? He threads his hands together and puts them behind his head. He’d hoped that helping them locate the remaining first order factions had started him on that path, but he wasn’t foolish enough to think that would be enough. He comes to a pond, filled with many different flowers floating on it. He sits down, leaning back on his hands. He thinks he might remember this pond, from his visit with his mother many years ago. It’s very peaceful here, and he can understand why his mother would have picked here for the resistance to recover. He decides he’ll meditate, seeing as how he had nothing else to do. He crosses his legs, resting his hands face up on his thighs. He takes deep breaths, feeling a serene sense of peace. The force washes over him, and time seems to slip away. _Ben_ His eyes snap open. That voice… a form begins to materialize in front of him. A bearded man, with white Jedi robes and a brown cloak around his shoulders comes into focus. “Uncle.” Ben breathes out. Luke Skywalker smiles at him, “I did say I’d see you around, didn’t I?” Luke joins Ben on the ground, and takes his hand. “I’m sorry I failed to realize your choice hadn’t been made yet. I failed as your master, and as your uncle.” Ben shakes his head, “Master, you don’t-“ Luke interrupts him. “Yes I do. It was my greatest failure, thinking you were beyond hope. It’s the reason I hid out on Ahch-To for the rest of my life.” Ben is overcome with emotions, unsure of what to say. “My greatest hope is that you can live the rest of your life in happiness.” He pats Ben on the shoulder, then fades away. Ben stands, a sad smile on his face. _I only wish I could talk to my father one last time_.

Ben finds Rey waiting for him near the room they had used for meditation. She’s changed out of the oversized dress into a long grey tunic that reaches to her knees, belted at her waist. She has on black leggings tucked into brown faded boots. She smiles upon seeing him approach. “What have you been up to?” She asks him. He smiles back at her, and leans against the wall next to her. “I was walking through the gardens, and decided to meditate. I had a visitor.” She looks at him quizzically, and he closes his eyes invites her into his mind to see his meeting with Luke. She gasps when she sees it. “Ben, that’s wonderful.” She takes his hand. He smiles brightly at her. “How did the meeting go?” Rey rolls her eyes. “Mostly people arguing about what to do now. Some people want to wrap it all up, so they can go back home, be with their families. Other people want to start working on a new government, and appointing leaders. I don’t care much for politics.” “What do you want to do?” Ben asks her. She furrows her brow at his question. “I don’t know. I don’t know what my place is now that the wars over.” “I’ll go with you, whatever you decide. If you want me to, that is.” Ben smiles shyly at her. She wraps her arms around him suddenly, resting her head against his chest. “I’d want nothing more.” He brings his arms around her, squeezing her gently. Still with her arms around him, she looks up at him, “Now let’s go train. I need some exercise.” He chuckles, and agrees.

—

Rey stretches out her arms, and watches Ben doing the same. He took the sweater off, and has a sleeveless tunic on now. She retrieved her staff from the falcon, and they found a similar one for Ben to use. “I haven’t fought with a staff for a few years, so I might be rusty.” He jokes. “I think you’ll be alright.” They stand across from each other, pointing their weapons at each other. Ben seems hesitant to go first, so Rey starts. She lunges at him, aiming for his midsection. He deflects it, side stepping her. She raises an eyebrow, “Rusty, huh?” He shrugs. She again lunges at him, faking a hit towards his midsection. But when he goes to block her attack, she swipes his legs out from under him. He lets out an ‘Oof!’ when he lands, his staff rolling away from him. He laughs, and stands back up. “Well if that’s how we’re doing it.” He retrieves the staff, and again faces her. This time, he goes first. They carry on like that, each landing blows on each other. Finally, when they both are breathing heavily, they call it a day. “I feel much better.” She says, dabbing her face with a cloth. “You won’t feel better tomorrow.” His face is flushed, and his hair clings to his face. He crosses his arms behind his head, leaning back into a stretch. His tunic lifts, revealing his stomach and his trousers that sit low on his hips. She averts her eyes, glad she can claim her red face to be from the exercise. She examines her arms, already seeing a bruise forming near her elbow. “Well, I’m going to use the refresher.” He nods in agreement. She bends over to pick up her staff, and when she stands back up, her vision goes blurry and she loses her balance. “Woah.” She says, as her knees give out and she falls hard on her bottom. “Are you okay?” Ben crouches down next to her, holding a hand to her forehead. “You’re burning up.” She puts her head between her knees. “We did just work out.” “We did, but I think you have a fever.” She looks back up at him, and starts to stand. “I’m fine, probably just over did it a bit.” He looks like he wants to object, but helps her stand anyways. “I’m perfectly fine…..” She feels the light headedness again, but this time, everything goes dark.

The first thing she notices when she wakes up is how badly her head hurts. The next thing she notices is hushed voices speaking around her. She blinks slowly, taking in her surroundings. She’s back in the medical room. When she glances over, she sees Ben, Finn, Rose, and the doctor talking in the corner. “B-Ben.” She mumbles. They all look over to her, Ben hurry’s over and takes her hand. “How are you feeling?” She rubbed a hand over her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “My head hurts.” The doctor walks over behind Ben. “Your blood pressure spiked very high. You over exerted yourself. Do you have a history of high blood pressure?” She lays her head back, thinking. “I don’t know. I don’t regularly get check ups.” The doctor shakes her head at that. “Well from now on, I think you should. Come and see me once a week while you’re here so we can monitor it.” She closes her eyes, sighing. “Can I get something for the pain?” “Yes, I’ll be right back.” She steps out of the room.

Finn and Rose come over, sympathetic looks on their faces. “Glad you’re okay! When we saw Ben running through the halls shouting, we were pretty freaked out!” Rose says. Finn nods, crossing his arms. “You gotta take better care of yourself, and that’s an order from your general.” Rose elbows him. Rey chuckles, despite the pain in her head. The doctor comes back in with the pain reliever and a syringe. “I hate needles.” Rey mumbles. Ben squeezes her hand, trying to comfort her. “This should relieve the pain, but it’ll make you very sleepy. You’re welcome to stay here for the night.” “I can help her back to her room.” Ben says. The doctor readies the needle, and pinches her arm when she injects her. Rey winces, but it's over quickly. “You’re all set. It should start working shortly.”

Finn and Rose take their leave, and Rey sits up and starts to stand. “Just let me carry you.” Ben says, with a hand on her shoulder. “It hasn’t affected me yet, I can walk.” He doesn’t object, but walks closely behind her. She makes it as far as the door before she starts to feel the effects, but doesn’t want to admit it to Ben. She tries to confidently walk through the hallway, but she falters when they near the dining hall. “Alright fine, I need help.” She turns to Ben, and can tell he is trying hard to keep from smiling. He puts his hand behind her knees, lifting her like she weighed nothing. She rests her head against his shoulders, noting his intake of breath. “No more sparing for you, at least until you get your blood pressure under control.” “Mmm.” She sighs. They make it to her room, and he reaches out with the hand supporting her back to open the door. He gingerly sets her down on the bed, and pulls the blanket over her. “I’ll come check on you in the morning.” He turns to leave, and he grabs onto his hand. “Stay.” He pauses, turning back towards her. “What?” “Please, stay.” She whispers, tugging him down. She scotches over, making room for him. “Are you sure?” He asks her, looking nervous. She signs, pulling at his hand again. “Yes, it's more comfortable like this.” She remembers the nice feeling of his warmth, and feeling safe in his arms. He sits on the edge of her bed, pulling his boots off. He lays back next to her, and she rolls over, snuggling into him. His hand comes to rest on her back. She smiles sleepily, and mumbles, “Ben.” A yawn overtakes her, and Ben starts rubbing her back gently. “Sleep now.” He commands, and so she does. She remembers that as the best nights sleep she ever had


	7. Some kind of Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She sighs after she sees it, “I was worried something like this would happen eventually.” Ben grunted his agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaydel is the name of Lieutenant Connix  
> And also, in my “version” of this story, we are pretending that Hux wasn’t a mole, and never helped the resistance. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy!

When she wakes, she’s alone.   
She sits up and stretches, and reaches out to Ben through their bond. _It’s alright, I’m with the pilot._ Ben, alone with Poe? She isn’t sure that’s really a good idea. She walks to the fresher, and splashes water on her face. She still feels groggy from the pain medicine. As she dries her face off, she hears a knock on the door. “Come in.” The door opens, and she sees Finn come in. “Hey, sleepy head. How ya feeling?” She snorts, and sits back down on the bed. “My head feels better, I guess. What’ve you been up to? I haven't seen you much these days.” He sits down next to her, and rests his elbows on his knees. “I’ve been trying to figure out what we do next, with Poe, Rose, and Kaydel. Nobody has any good ideas. We’ve been talking with the queen of Naboo, and she’s been helping us reach out to other leaders, but they just want to go back to how things were before the first order, which didn’t really work out before, did it?” He shakes his head, rubbing his hand down his face. “I know you don’t want much to do with the meetings, but I still think it would help to have you there. The other leaders want to meet the Jedi who ended the war.” Rey just shakes her head. “It wasn’t just me though. It was all of us.” “Yea, but we couldn't have done it without you.” Rey just rolls her eyes at that. 

“Anyways, can we talk about the whole Ren thing? I know you told me about it already, but Poe was there. So I don’t feel like you were telling me everything.” Finn raises an eyebrow to her, and he is of course right. She crosses her arms over her chest, wondering where she should even start. So she tells him about the force connection, and the first few meetings she had with him when she was on Ahch-To, and how she had felt so alone after not being able to see her parents. How they had touched hands and Rey thought the right thing to do was to go to him, and that he would turn. She ended up being right, but she had the timing off. She tells him how badly she did want to take his hand in the throne room, and it broke her heart not to. She finally tells him of the kiss she shared with him after he brought her back, and how devastated she was when she thought she lost him.

When she finishes, Finn sits with his hands covering his eyes. “So you’re connected to him? A, what did you call it, dyad? What does that mean?” She shrugs, not really sure. “I don’t really know, something about two that are one? And Palpatine used it to fully bring himself back.” She shudders at the memory of her and Ben’s life force being taken from them. “I never read anything about it in the Jedi texts. I don’t know of anywhere else to look.” Finn sighs, looking over at her. “So, you and Re- I mean, you and Ben?” She smiles, glad to hear him call him Ben. “What’s going on there?” Rey feels her face flush, and looks at the floor. “I don’t know, Finn. It’s so new. I’ve never felt these things before. Never experienced something like this.” Finn bumps her shoulder with his. “Hey I haven’t either, I get it. But Rose…” Finn smiles shyly. “She just kinda snuck up on me.” Rey chuckles, “Sort of how it happened with Ben, too. I had these feelings, even when he was Kylo Ren. But it was too difficult for me to try and process it, I didn’t even know until we were on Exegol that he felt something for me too. It just feels… right.” Finn nods. “I get It, Rey. I get it.”

—

  
  


It started out with Dameron questioning him about hidden first order fleets, and if they had any bases they could hide in. Who were enemies with the first order, and could they be a new threat they have to face. After he gets his answers, he quickly types on his holo pad. Ben goes to leave, but the pilot halts him. “I have some more questions.” Ben sighs and sits back down. “I wanna know why the sudden change in heart. Why you decided you wanted to be a good guy.” Ben shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Honestly, pilot, I don’t know. Maybe when….. I felt my mother die. It jolted me, and then Rey stabbed me.” Poe raises an eyebrow at that. “I’ll have to congratulate her on that the next time I see her.” Ben resists the urge to punch him in the face. He could tell him the rest of what happened, but it’s none of Dameron’s business. “So all it took was stabbing you to ‘make you good again?’ How convenient. I don’t really trust it, and I don’t really trust you.” He stands and crosses his arms. “And if you hurt Rey, I’ll kill you.”

If he ever hurt Rey, after all she’s done for him, he would probably deserve death. Not that he tells the pilot that, though. As he’s walking through the halls, he can’t help but notice how quiet it goes. He sees nervous glances toward him, and also eyes glaring daggers. He hears hushed whispers, some he’s able to hear, ‘ _Why is he really here?’ ‘I heard that’s Kylo Ren.’_ _‘As if we’re really safe with him here.’_ He doesn’t blame any of them for their convictions, but it doesn’t make it any easier to hear them. He just pretends he can’t hear any of them, and continues back to his room. 

Two weeks passed without much fuss, just more glares and people whispering when they think he can’t hear. But when he comes around to his room after having breakfast with Rey, Finn and Rose, he sees someone waiting for him by his door. It’s a man he’s seen glaring at him in the halls a few times. When he sees Ben approaching, he starts towards him. “Ren, remember me?” His brows are furrowed, and he has a scowl on his face. “I’m sorry, I do not.” The man laughs bitterly. Ben can smell alcohol on his breath when he does this. “Well I remember you. My squad had the misfortune of running into you when we were coming back from a run. You slaughtered them, but left me alive. You never even said anything, just looked at me through your goddamned mask. Then you just left me there to die.” Ben is frozen, remembering that day. That was shortly after he had fought Rey the first time, he had been so angry she had bested him, and taken the lightsaber from him. “I-I’m truly so sorry. I know nothing I say can ever-“ he’s knocked backwards as the man punches him in the face. It’s sloppy, because of how drunk he is, but he feels his nose break. “God damn you!! Why did you get to live?! Why not them?!” He’s holding on to Ben's collar as he shouts in his face. “You’ll always be a monster!! You may have fooled that Jedi girl, but you’ll never fool anyone else!!” He shoves Ben back hard, and he hits the wall. 

He leaves then, and Ben sinks down to the floor. He can feel blood dripping out of his nose, but he just sits there. He vaguely hears someone call his name, but he just feels numb and empty. “Ben!” Rey says frantically, grabbing his arm. “What happened? Are you okay?” He just shakes his head, unable to speak. Rey begins using the front of her dress to wipe the blood off, and Ben tries to push her hand away, “Don’t.” He looks at her, she looks so angry, and sad. But not at him, he can tell through the bond. Her eyes are wet, and a single tear falls down her cheek. He reaches up and wipes it away. She holds his hand against her check, and looks at him pleadingly. “What happened?” She asks him again, but softer. He just opens his mind to her, and invites her to see for herself. She sighs after she sees it, “I was worried something like this would happen eventually.” Ben grunted his agreement. 

—

_It's been a rough day,_ Rey thinks to herself, as she changes out of the dress stained with Bens blood. She sighs, laying the blue short sleeved dress on her bed. _Wonder how I’ll get that out of it._ She pulls a long sleeved grey sweater out of her dresser, putting it on over her tunic and leggings. She’s planning to go for a jog in the gardens after her check in with the doctor. She's been feeling nauseous a lot lately, and still having blood pressure spikes when she does anything too strenuous. She couldn’t even have any dinner last night because the fish smelled terrible. Everyone had given her strange looks when she excused herself to go gag in her room. She glances in the mirror before heading out, and sees her under eyes look almost bruised. She hadn’t been sleeping much either. 

When she gets to the medical room, the doctor is talking to the medic droid and typing into her holo pad. “Ah, Rey, good to see you. I got some test results back from last week, seems we’ve found what the problem is.” She raises her eyebrows at that, sitting down on a cot. “That’s good, right? So what the problem?” The doctor sits down in the chair across from her, looking at her holo pad. “I’m almost surprised we didn’t catch it sooner, but it seems you’re about seven weeks pregnant.” Rey freezes. “Excuse me?” She must of misheard her, pregnant? “Well, the blood test determined it, had you noticed you’d missed your cycle yet?” “No, that’s not possible. I’ve always had an irregular cycle or no cycle, I was constantly not eating enough. The test must be wrong.” The doctor looks up at her, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry, but I ran the test twice to be sure. You are pregnant.” “No, you don’t understand. It’s not possible because I’ve never…. been with a man like _that.”_ She closes her eyes, pushing her palms against them. _Seven weeks? Seven weeks ago was when I defeated palpatine, and then I died and….. Ben brought me back._ The doctor is saying something to her, but she isn’t listening ‘ _A dyad in the force, a power strong enough to create life itself’_ She stands suddenly, startling the doctor. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” Rey says over her shoulder, as she runs from the room. She gets to her room and slams the door shut, then leans against it and slides to the floor. She puts her hands over her face, and cries. _When Ben gave me his life force, it did this? Why?_ She hears quick knocking at her door, making her jump. “Rey?? Are you okay?” Ben asks, frantically. She wipes tears from her face, and stands to let him in. When she opens the door, she sees a look of panic on his face. He looks at her tear stained face and puts his hands on her shoulders. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” She tries to speak, but she just whimpers. He wraps his arms around her, and pulls her into his chest. He rubs her back, comforting her. When she calms down, she pulls back a little, resting a hand on his chest. “Thank you.” He nods, “Do you want to tell me what happened?” She turns and walks to her bed, and sits down. She meets his gaze again, seeing nothing but support in his eyes. “I-I'm ... pregnant.” His brows furrow, confusion showing on his face. “It’s yours.” “B-but how-“ he stammers. “I think when you brought me back? I don’t really know. The doctor said I’m seven weeks along, and seven weeks ago is when that happened.” He has his hand over his mouth, unable to speak. They’re both quiet for several minutes, when finally Ben speaks. “You don’t have to keep it.” She furrows her brow, “What?” “You don’t have to keep it, I understand. If you wouldn’t want to have a part of me...growing inside you.” His voice trembles, and tears trail down his cheeks. She stands, and walks over to him and places her hands on his cheeks. “I-I’ve wanted my own family for as long as I can remember. This may not be how I planned it to happen, but...I wanted it to be with you anyways.” He sighed, visibly relieved. He leans forward and rests his forehead against hers, “Do you really mean it, Rey?” She nods, and he gently presses his lips to her forehead. He drops to his knees, and wraps his arms around her waist, pressing the side of his face against her stomach. “Thank you.” 

—

They’re both laying on Reys bed now, Ben on his back and Rey on her side, curled against him. “You seemed so upset earlier, that’s why I thought… you wouldn’t want to keep it.” She sighs, “I was just so shocked, and I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it. I’m sorry, I can see how my reaction confused you.” He squeezes her shoulder. “It’s okay. I just felt an overwhelming amount of emotion coming from you, I didn’t know what had happened.” “Is your nose okay?” He runs a hand over his nose, “Yea, the medic droid set it back in place and gave me some pain meds. Said I need to go see the doctor in a week to make sure it’s healing properly.”

She closes her eyes. “I was thinking, before the revaluation today, maybe it’s time to leave.” “Leave?” He asks, “I just mean, leave the castle. We haven’t really been accomplishing a lot in discussions with other planets. I don’t think I’m needed right now. I think I’m only there to be paraded around as the Jedi hero.” She sighs, drawing circles with her finger on Bens chest. “I like this planet, and I could stay close so if they actually needed me, I’d be here. I heard the queen was arranging for people to move out of here, in to homes nearby.” She looks up at him again, “Would you… want to do that?” “You mean, leave with you?” She nods; and he smiles. “Of course.” She smiles back, and lays her head back down. They both jump when someone knocks on her door. “Hey Rey? I’m sorry to bother you, but we might have a situation.” Finn says from outside her door. She stands and walks to the door, opening just slightly so he can't see Ben. “What’s up?” “We have activity at one of the bases Ben gave us the location for. Do you know where he is? I wanted to ask him if he knows what this might be.” Rey sighs, and opens the door all the way to reveal Ben sitting on her bed. Finn's eyes widen for a second, but he quickly regains his composure. “Do you know who it could be? The squad keeping watch said they heard a com go out, but they don’t recognize the I.D. they gave.” Ben stands, “I don’t know, only people high in rank knew about those locations. Can I listen to the com?” Finn nods, “Lets go.”

—

They’re sitting around a table now, Rey to his right, Finn to his left. Dameron is standing in the corner, his brows furrowed and arms crossed. Finn slides the holo pad in front of him, and the recording of the com plays.

“ _This is 45956, I need assistance, please respond_ .” Ben freezes, _No, not him, anyone but him._ “Who was this message intended for?” Finn shakes his head, “We can’t tell, but whoever it was sent to hasn’t responded. Who is it?” “That’s general Hux, I recognize his voice and that’s his identification number.” Everyone just gapes at him. Dameron leans over the table, slamming his fist down. “How is that possible? He was on the ships when they blew up.” No one has an answer for him. Ben looks at Finn, “Can you notify me if anyone responds?” Finn says “Yes.” At the same time Dameron says, “We’ll see.” The pilot cuts a look at Finn, and Finn just shrugs. “It’s not like we’ll really know what’s going on without him to decode it.” Dameron just grumbles, and walks out of the room. Finn sighs, and rubs a hand down his face. “Gods, this is a nightmare. I’m gonna go find Rose and tell her what happened.” Finn leaves, leaving Ben and Rey in the room alone. “So much for getting out of here.” She puts her head down on the table. The medic droid comes in the room just then, stopping right next to Rey. “Doctor Propite requests you come see her when you have a moment, about what you discussed earlier.” Rey sits up, “Alright.” The droid turns and leaves the room again. Rey stands, and looks at Ben, “You might as well come with me.”

When they get to the medical room, Ben sees the doctor standing by a cart with a scanner on it. She’s folding a towel and setting it down, and then turns towards them, “I wasn’t expecting you so soon. Please, have a seat.” Rey goes and sits on the cot right by the scanner, and Ben just stands next to her. “I wasn’t sure if we still had one here, but I was able to track it down. This allows us to see the fetus. 2-2B, prepare to scan, please.” Rey turns towards him, a nervous look on her face. “You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to.” Ben pulls a chair next to her and sits. “N-no I’d like to stay, if you don’t mind.” Rey looks relieved, and nods. 2-2B comes up to the cart, and attaches the scanner to a port on its arm. “Ok Rey, I’ll need you to lay back, and roll up your tunic, if you don’t mind.” Ben turns his head away, to give her at least a little privacy. Doctor Propite picks up a squeeze bottle, and faces Rey. “Alright, I’ll need to put some of this on your stomach, it’ll be cold, apologies.” He hears Rey take a slight intake of breath, “Kriff.” She mumbles. “I will begin now.” 2-2B says, stepping up next to the cot. It points the scanner towards Rey's abdomen. “It should take just a moment to process.” The droid says. A hologram slowly appears above them. “Complete.” Then it fully appears, a small orb, curled in on itself. There’s a rapidly moving flutter in the middle of it. “That’s your baby's heartbeat.” The doctor says, pointing at the middle. Ben finds himself transfixed. _How amazing_ he thinks. This small, precious thing could come from his and Rey’s force connection. He feels Rey take his hand, and he glances down at her. She has tears in her eyes, staring with wonder at the hologram. He squeezes her hand, and says to her through the bond, ‘ _Thank you.’_


	8. Coming Back to Haunt Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Finn, walk back with me.” Finn furrows his brow at her, but she just looks at him impatiently, and turns towards the door. “U-uh, ok. Coming.”

Rey is hurriedly shoving clothes into a bag, not even looking at what she’s packing. It doesn’t matter, they’ll only be gone a few days. It was supposed to be just her, Rose and Finn, but Ben had insisted on going, too worried about her being anywhere near General Hux. He and Poe had gotten into an argument, Poe saying they can’t trust him, and Ben pointing out they won’t be able to make it inside without his help. They hadn’t told anyone about her being pregnant yet, but it had only been a week, so there’s still time before she starts showing. She sighs, standing from her kneeling position on the floor and stretches her back. She rests a hand over her stomach, wondering what it will be like when she feels the baby moving. A knock at her door pulls her from her thoughts, she goes to the door, and opens it to see Rose smiling at her. “Hey, you all set?” Rey nods, and bends to pick up her bag. “I just need to stop by and see Dr. Propite before we leave.” “About your blood pressure stuff? Was she able to figure out why it’s happening?” Rey averts her eyes, shifting nervously, “Uh, sort of. I’ll see you in a little bit.” She waves to Rose, and heads to the medical room. 

Only 2-2B is there when she arrives, cleaning the cots. “Miss Rey, I will go and retrieve the doctor Propite for you.” “Thank you.” Rey says, as the droid goes through to the back room. She takes a seat, and wonders why she wanted to see her. She had already tried to argue against Rey going on this mission, but she told her just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she’ll stay here and hope everyone’s alright. Dr. Propite comes in just then, holding a container. “Rey, I know I can’t talk you out of going, but I at least ask you take these supplements. They’ll help with your blood pressure, and they’re good for the baby.” She hands them over to Rey, and sits down across from her. “And please remember if you feel light headed, dizzy, or your head starts to hurt again, stop whatever you’re doing, lay down. Make sure you also drink lots of water.” Rey nods, and stands. “Thank you, I will. I’ll come see you again when we get back. We’ll only be gone for a few days.” “Good luck to you all.” Rey puts the supplements in her bag, and heads to the courtyard they have the shuttle parked in. Everyone seems to be here already, and she hopes they weren’t waiting on her. Poe is talking with Finn, and Rose is loading supplies on the shuttle. Rey hurries over time help her, “Gods, do we really need so much stuff for a few days?” She jokes to Rose. She just chuckles. “It’s too bad we can’t take the falcon, it’s much roomier for four people.” The falcon was currently getting new landing gear, as they hadn’t been anticipating to need it anytime soon. Poe and Finn come join them, and Poe clears his throat. “So I know we already went over this, but we’ll com if anyone responds to Hux, and in that event, you guys should pull back and wait. But since as of yet no one has responded, it seems he’s alone for now. We hope he is, anyways.” He shakes his head. Finn pats him on the back, “Don’t worry, we got this.” “It’s not you guys I’m worried about.” Poe says, glancing at Ben, who is headed towards them carrying more supplies. Rey rolls her eyes, but doesn’t say anything. She was tired of arguing with Poe, and she also knew that if Poe truly thought that Ben would betray them, he wouldn’t be letting them go on this mission. “Here, I’ll help you.” Rey says to Ben, going to grab one of the boxes from him. He steps back, shaking his head. “It’s alright, I’ve got it.” She feels a flash of annoyance towards him, and almost snaps at him, but quickly dismisses it. Ben disappears into the shuttle, and Kaydel comes and joins them. “You guys all set?” Finn nods, glancing back at the shuttle. “Hopefully this’ll go smoothly and we’ll be back in no time.” “Good luck, guys.” Then they’re off. 

Once they’re in hyperdrive, Rey turns to look at Finn, with a smile on her face. “See, that wasn’t so bad.” Finn raises an eyebrow to her. “It’s not that I doubted you, I just doubted this shuttle. I mean, you were the one who repaired it.” He teases. She swats his arm, and he chuckles. The cockpit was rather crowded, with four people being in there. Ben was squeezed in the seat behind Rey, in a very uncomfortable looking manor, she noticed. They had about a 4 hour trip, headed to the planet Vandor. They were told it was mostly uninhabited, besides the small mountain village Fort Ypso. The hideout Hux was taking refuge in though, was 100 miles from the village. It was also an Ice planet, which none of them were looking forward to. The first time Rey had even seen snow was on Star Killer base, and she was told that was tame compared to what they would face on Vandor. “It’s incredibly cramped in here, lets move into the cabin area.” She sets the controls on auto pilot, and stands and waits for Ben and Rose to shuffle out so she can follow. She sees Ben stretch, looking relieved to be out of the tight seat. The cabin area consists of their food storage area, with a small nanowave to warm up the meal packs. A door leads to a very small ‘fresher, and beyond that is the two sets of bunks they’ll be sleeping on. Finn plops down on the small bench, leaning his head back. “I was really enjoying those weeks of peace, hopefully we can get sorted quickly so we can get back to that.” Rey sits on the bench opposite of him, Ben joining her. “How have things been going with Jannah and Lando?” He sits up, smiling. “Really good. We’ve already located three factions of ex storm troopers,” He frowns, “which reminds me, I was hoping to get out there and join them soon, but with this whole mess?” He shrugs, shaking his head. Rose sits down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Even if you’re not there with them, you’ve been doing so much. You found that group on Dantooine, which started the whole thing.” Finn just nods, taking Roses hand and squeezes it. Ben fidgets next to her, and clears his throat. “I-I’d be willing to help, and speak to the ones still having trouble.” Finn scoffs, “Yea, I don’t think that would be a good idea. Hearing words of encouragement from the man partially responsible for their suffering.” Something in Rey snap at hearing Finn say that. “Honestly, when will you and Poe give it a rest!” She yells at Finn. Ben puts a hand on her arm, but she shakes it off. “I’m tired of it! He’s doing his best to prove to you he’s changed, what more do you want from him, to personally take responsibility for every last thing the first order did?! Or do you just wish he died when-“ She cuts herself off, taking in quick, rapid breathes.  _ Why am I doing this? I know Finn didn’t mean any harm.  _ Finn is looking at her, jaw dropped in shock. “Rey, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ She stands and interrupts him, “No, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t. Excuse me.” She rushed into the ‘fresher, and closes the door. She leaned her head against the door, sighing.  _ Gods, what was that? Why have I been so on edge lately?  _ And then she remembers. “Hormones.” She mumbled to herself.  _ I might have to tell people about the pregnancy sooner rather than later.  _

—

They sit in silence after Rey shuts the door to the ‘fresher. Finn glances at Ben, “I’m sorry if I was harsh just now, it wasn’t my intent.” Ben shakes his head, “It’s okay, really. I know what I’ve done, and it won't be an easy road coming back from that.” Finn just nods at him, glancing at the ‘fresher. “Is she okay?”  _ Aside from carrying a magical force baby?  _ “Uh, she’s just been under a lot of stress lately.” They all were really, but Ben didn’t have a better explanation. Finn and Rose still look confused and concerned, but the subject drops. Finn decides to go sit in the cockpit, and Rose says she’s going to try and sleep some before they get there, leaving Ben alone. Rey peeks her head out of the ‘fresher, and upon seeing Ben alone she sighs and comes to join him again on the bench.  _ The doctor warned me about my hormones being a mess, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.  _ She thinks to him. He takes her hand, squeezing assuringly.  _ I don’t think Finn was upset with you, just confused.  _ She shakes her head at that.  _ I’m upset with me. I need to get better control of my emotions, especially with what we’re about to do.  _ Ben wishes he had a way to help her. Rey squeezes his hand back, and then stands. “I’m gonna try to get some sleep.” She heads back to bunks. Finn comes back from the cockpit, sitting back in the bench across from Ben. “Everything looks clear, so we should be arriving right on schedule.” Ben nods at him, “That’s good.” They sit in silence, neither sure what to say to the other. “Ben.” He almost jumps, not used to hearing anyone but Rey use that name. “I figured I should tell you, I appreciate everything you’re doing. I may not be able to move past… all that other stuff yet, but I think you deserve the chance to prove yourself.” He’s stunned, not expecting to hear this. “Thank you, truly.” Ben says. Finn leans down, resting his elbows on his knees. “Rey’s my best friend, and one of the best people I know. So if she trusts you, I think that means you deserve a second chance.”

They’re almost there now, so Ben goes to wake up Rey. He crouches down next to her, and quietly says her name, “Rey, wake up.” She wearily opens her eyes, and looks at him. “Kriff, how long was I asleep?” Ben laughs, her sleepy and dazed face is very cute. “We only have 30 minutes left till we get there, so a while.” She groans, and rubs her eyes. Ben holds out his hand to help her up, and she takes it, mumbling her thanks. When they get back up to the cockpit, Rey climbs into the pilots seat, Finn joining her in the co-pilot seat. Ben squeezes himself into the seat behind Rey, and she starts taking the ship off of auto pilot. “While you were sleeping, Poe commed to let us know Hux still hasn’t gotten a response.” Rey nods, easing the ship out of hyperdrive. “Gods, this’ll be fun.” She mumbled. They’re welcomed by a full blown blizzard. The shuttle begins shaking, trying to fight against the wind. It’s 3 in the afternoon, but it’s so dark it looks like night. They stay up high, trying to avoid being seen by any radar. “We should be close. I’ll land, and then we’ll go on foot the rest of the way.” It’s a rough landing, the shuttle bouncing wildly on the snow covered ground. They all climb out of their seats and start taking out the snow gear they brought. Thick coats, goggles, gloves and boots. Rey opens a compartment and pulls out a cloth with something wrapped in it. “Ben, I brought these for us.” She unwraps the cloth, and reveals his mother and grandfathers sabers. He knew she had them, but he hadn’t seen them since they fought Palpatine. She offers his grandfather's saber to him, and he slowly takes it. Finn and Rose both strap their blasters over their shoulders, and they head out. 

Visibility is very low, but they’re able to see the outline of the base up ahead. Ben reaches out with the force, sensing only Hux. “He’s alone.” He tells them. Finn nods, “Let’s do this.” They make their way to the entrance, and Ben types in his access code, praying it still works. The light flashes green, and the door slides open. Breathing a sigh of relief, he lifts his saber crosses the threshold, the other three following. “Do you know your way around here?” Finn whispers to him. “Only vaguely. This was one of the older ones, from the days of the Galactic Empire.” The start down the long hallway, which branches out at the end in two different directions. Finn looks to him and Rey, “Well, one of you guys know which way to go?” Rey glances at Ben, shaking her head. “I can’t tell.” Ben closes his eyes, and reaches out. “We go left.” So he leads, Rey close behind him. They come to a large door, at which he can sense Hux behind. “He’s here.” The door open suddenly, Rey and Ben ignite their sabers, and Rose and Finn point their blasters. Hux is seated at a long table, with a smirk on his face. “Ah, Ren. How I was so hoping you were dead.” “How did you escape from Exegol?” He asks, ignoring is remark. Hux leans back, placing his hands on the table. “Pryde saw fit to declare himself in charge after it was clear you weren't coming back, and had me arrested and put in a cell when I tried to protest. As such, when I saw the other ships start blowing up, I took an escape pod and got out of there.” “So what was your plan? Wait here for reinforcements, and build another army? You’re all that’s left.” Finn says, stepping towards the table. Hux just smirks even wider, tilting his head. “All that’s left? Are you really foolish enough to believe that?” Ben hears it too late, the clang of metal against the floor behind them. A blaster fires, and he turns in time to see Rey fall to the ground, and three droids preparing to fire on the rest of them. “REY!” He calls to her, and he feels the familiar pull of the dark side, wrapping around him and turning his vision red. The droids crumble to the ground, turning to useless scraps of metal. He turns back to Hux, who is no longer smirking. He tightens his fit, and Hux begins clutching at his throat, his face going red as the air is squeezed from his lungs.  _ I’ll kill him. I should’ve killed him sooner.  _ He feels someone pushing into his mind through the force, trying to pull him back.  _ Ben, don’t do this.  _ “Rey.” He loosens his fist, and Hux collapses. He rushes over to Rey, who is being supported by Finn. He scans her, looking for her injury. “I’m fine.” She says. “It just hit me in the leg.” She’s pressing part of her coat against her leg, to stanch the bleeding. He rests his hand over hers, focusing his energy to her. She sighs with relief, as the wound on her leg closes. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.  _ I’m sorry, it just took control of me when I saw you go down.  _ He tells her.  _ It’s ok, I'll be here to pull you back.  _ He doesn’t want to ever imagine a time when she isn’t. 

  
  


They tie up the still unconscious Hux, and check the rest of the base for anymore droids. Luckily, there are none. Rey and Rose start working on the com system, to determine who Hux was trying to contact. “He was reaching out to someone on one of the Core worlds, maybe Coruscant or Corellia?” Rey says, looking frustrated. “There’s probably First Order sympathizers all over those planets, we’d never be able to find who he was trying to contact.” Finn crosses his arms. “We can try interrogating him when he wakes up, not that he’s likely to tell us anything.” Ben presses his palms to his eyes. He’d like to offer to search his mind, but he doesn’t trust himself to not give into his dark side. “We should let Poe know what’s going on, he's probably wondering why we haven’t checked back in.” Rose says, clipping her blaster back over her shoulder. “Finn, walk back with me.” Finn furrows his brow at her, but she just looks at him impatiently, and turns towards the door. “U-uh, ok. Coming.” They shuffle out, leaving him alone with Rey. She stands, and rubs the back of her neck. “Are you okay?” Ben shrugs. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She chuckles, and leans on the wall next to him. “You healed me, so yeah.” He lowers his eyes from her, ashamed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost control.” She places her hands on his face, making him look at her. She has a gentle smile on her face. “I can’t imagine it's easy, going against what was so natural to you for years. But I promise I’ll be here to help you through it.”  _ How could I ever hope to be worthy of your love  _ he thinks to himself. He pulls her to him, in a close embrace and places a kiss on the top of her head. “Thank you.” She pulls back just slightly, practically beaming at him. She then places a hand behind his neck and slowly raises on her toes to kiss him. They stay in each others arms for a few minutes, and then pull apart when they hear Finn and Rose coming back. “Did you get in touch with Poe?” Rey asks when they come back in the room. “Yeah, he wants us to wait till we get back so he can join the interrogation.” Rey scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Of course he does.” Rose chuckles at that. “So, any ideas how we’ll get him in the shuttle?” “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” Rey says, with a mischievous look in her eyes.

—

_ Poe will enjoy it  _ She thinks to herself. They had stored the still unconscious Hux in one of the large storage compartments. She also used the force to make sure he stayed unconscious until they got back. Everyone was asleep, except her. She wondered if she would ever stop getting flutters in her stomach when she kissed Ben.  _ Probably not _ . She checks the radar once more before going to look for something to eat. They didn’t bring much, so she just munches on dehydrated fruit. She feels a flare of panic, and pauses. She feels it again, mixed with fear. She rushes to the bunks, and sees Ben shaking and whimpering in his sleep. She kneels down next to him, taking his hand and gently shaking his shoulder. “Ben, it's alright. It’s just a dream.” He mumbles something, but doesn’t wake up. She says a bit louder this time, “Ben!” His eyes open suddenly, looking wild. “It’s ok, it was just a dream.” She repeats to him. He’s breathing heavily, and she can feel his heart racing. “Rey. It was terrible.” “What was it? You can tell me.” He shakes his head. “Please, Ben. Tell me.” He hesitates but closes his eyes and invites her to see it. 

_ It’s dark, and he doesn’t know where he is. “Ben.” Rey calls to him, but he doesn’t see her. “Where are you? Are you okay?” She doesn’t answer. He hears a lightsaber ignite behind him. He turns, and sees her face in the red glow of her saber. She doesn’t look right, and why does she have a red saber? “What’s the matter? Don’t you recognize me? This is what you wanted.” He shakes his head. “No, I was wrong. I would’ve never wanted this for you. Rey, please.” She smirks, and takes a step towards him. “Don’t lie, you know you wanted this. The idea of it excited you.” He reaches for her. “Please, Rey, don’t!” She raises her saber. “You’ll always be Kylo Ren to me.” And then she lunges at him.  _

She gasps, pulling out of his mind. His eyes look haunted, and he’s clutching her hand. “Ben, you know that’s not true. You must.” She leans her head against his. “You are Ben Solo.” He just sighs. But secretly, she is reeling, because the dark version of herself Ben saw is the same as what she saw when she found the way finder on the Death Star. She worries about what it could mean that they both saw the same thing. But she doesn’t want to worry him with that right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thanks for reading! I’m feel like this chapter is not my best work, and for that I apologize. I would really appreciate any feed back! I’ve been sick with the flu, but also wanting to work on this. I’m thinking as i get more into this story, I’d like to start updating once a week. I still am not sure how long it’ll be either, I’m just kind of going with the flow. I do have ideas for another fic with Rey and Ben, but I’ll just focus on this one for now ;)
> 
> [Vandor](%E2%80%9C)


	9. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think you’ll get married?” “Probably eventually. I don’t think I could ever be with anyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: a durang berry is about the size of a cherry, I just couldn’t find a fruit that was described as small as a cherry 😅

They were only gone for a day and a half, but it feels like ages. Rey still feels the chill from Vandor. She lays in the grass now, hoping the sunlight will chase away the cold. Her and Ben hadn’t talked about the dream he had, neither knowing what to say. She can still feel the pull to the dark, but it was easy enough to ignore. _For now._ She places a hand over her stomach, grateful to have woken up not feeling sick for once. Doctor Propite told her it would be a normal occurrence during the first trimester. 

“Rey.”

She opens her eyes, sitting up. Ben is walking towards her, carrying a small white woven basket. She smiles, he must have sensed she was hungry. He wears a long sleeved tunic, with sleeves pulled up to his elbows over fitted black trousers. She loves seeing him wear different colors, but he still favors darker ones. He sits next to her and hands her the basket. She opens it and is delighted to find ripe pears. She bites into one, savoring the crisp taste. 

“I’ve been craving these lately.” 

He chuckles. “I know, because I have been too.” He reaches over and takes one of the pears. He had also been experiencing some of her morning sickness. She finishes hers, chucking the core in the basket.

“How are you feeling today?” 

She smiles triumphantly. “No morning sickness today, finally.” 

He nods, grinning at her. “That’s good. I was wondering if I just wasn’t feeling it today.” 

“Doctor Propite wants me to come in for another scan today, will you come with me?” 

He furrows his brow, still smiling. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” 

She doesn’t know what possesses her to do it, but she launches herself toward him, putting her arms around his shoulders. He falls backwards with an ‘ _oof.’_ But his hands go around her waist, and he chuckles. 

“What was that?” She lays her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Just felt like it.” 

His hands come up to rest on her back, and she feels the flutters in her stomach again. They lay like that for a while, and she almost falls asleep from how relaxed she feels. But eventually, she sighs and sits up, looking down at him. His hair has blown into his face, and she pushes it away with her finger. She smiles, wishing they could stay here like this, but she desperately needs to use the fresher.

“I need-“ 

“to use the fresher.” He finishes for her. She furrows her brow, still smiling.

“Stars, do you know everything?” 

He chuckles, and gets easily to his feet. “Sorry, I don’t do it on purpose.” He reaches his hands out to her. 

“It’s ok, I know you don’t.” She puts her hands in his, and he pulls her up. He keeps hold of one of her hands, and reaches back down for the basket, and they walk back hand in hand. 

Rey wasn’t in the room during Hux’s interrogation, but she stood just outside the room. She could hear Poe yelling at him, and Finn speaking slightly more composed. 

“Just tell us who you were sending that com to.” 

“Why, so I can be executed sooner?” She can hear the contempt in his voice.

“You’d be lucky if we executed you. You’re not gonna get off that easy.” Poe snaps at him. He and Finn come out of the room just then, Poe slamming the door shut behind them. 

“Are you ready to have Ben speak to him?” 

Poe crosses his arms, and leans against the wall next to her. “I don’t know. I’m not really sure if it’s a good idea.” 

She snapped her head towards him. “Honestly Poe, you hating him and not trusting him to help with anything is getting old!” 

He raises his hands, his eyebrows raising. “That’s honestly not what I meant. This time, anyways.” He shakes his head, and lowers his hands. “I just meant, Hux hates him even more than he hates us. I doubt he’ll cooperate any more with him.” 

She blinks at him, feeling slightly bad for snapping at him. Not that she tells him that. “I could try persuading him to talk. Snoke might have trained him against that, though. But it’s worth a shot.” 

Poe nods, and Finn puts a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

She just sighs. “I don’t want to, but I know it needs to be done.” He steps back, and Poe scans them back in the room.

Hux smirks when he sees her. “So Ren’s whore decided to come see me?” 

Poe starts towards him, but Rey holds him back. She ignores his remark, and steps towards him, raising her hand. He just watches her, his smirk fading. 

“You will tell us who that com was for.” He frowns, and she can see him fighting her. He opens his mouth as if to speak, then snaps his mouth shut, shaking his head. She tries again, raising her voice. 

“You will tell us who that com was for.” She can see his jaw clench. 

“Corellia.” 

“Who on Corellia?” 

“I don’t know. It was someone I had been told to contact strictly in the event the first order was destroyed.” She lowers her hand and steps back. 

Poe steps up next to her, “So you were bluffing. You don’t know if anyone else is left.” Hux scowls at him, but doesn’t say anything. 

That had been a week ago. Hux was on his way to a prison that had been set up for other high ups in the first order that survived the battle on Exegol. A lot of people were breathing easier, with the threat of Hux raising an army against them past. More people were returning to their home planets, and others moving to homes on Naboo. She and Ben are on their way to the medical office now, after having made an excuse about why she was going there to Rose, Finn, Poe and Kaydel. They had looked confused when she asked Ben to come with her, but didn’t say anything. She couldn’t put off telling them for much longer. When they get there, Dr. Propite was handing the scanner to 2-2B, who attaches is to their arm. “Rey, we’re ready for you.” She nods, and lays down on the cot and pulls her tunic up. Even though she’s prepared for it, the cold gel still makes her inhale sharply. “Scan processing.” 2-2B says. She doesn’t know why, but she feels nervous. Ben takes her hand, and she feels a little better. “Complete.” The image appears above them, and Rey gasps. “As you can see, the head is starting to take shape. Your baby is about the size of a durang berry.”

The baby is slightly bigger from the last time they saw it. “Can-can you tell what the gender is yet?” The doctor shakes her head, “It’s a little too early at 10 weeks, but when you get another scan at 16 weeks, we should be able to tell. It’ll depend on if the baby is in the right position.” They wrap up, the doctor just asking her about the morning sickness, if she’s had anymore lightheadedness, or intense pain, and sends her off with some more supplements. They walk back to her room, which he has been staying in with her frequently. She just seems to sleep better with him, and they’ve both had to comfort each other when they have terrible nightmares. She flops back on her bed, groaning. He sits down next to her, “What’s the matter?” She rolls to her side, facing him. “I think I need to tell them about the pregnancy. At least Finn, and Rose. Poe eventually, but that’s less important right now.” He takes her hand, squeezing it assuredly. “I’ll help you, in any way I can.” She sighs, sitting up. “I know you will. I just don’t know how to explain to them we’re having a child forged from our dyad bond, when we don’t even fully understand it ourselves.” “If we get another visit from Luke, there’s a chance he could know something.” Ben says, pushing some of his hair behind his ear. “But I don’t remember reading anything about dyads in the Jedi texts.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t either.”

She runs her fingers through her hair, suddenly feeling frustrated for no reason. “Kriff, my hair has been growing like crazy. I don’t even know what to do with it anymore.” “Do you want me to help?” She looks at him curiously. He chuckles awkwardly, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “I used to braid my mother's hair sometimes, I could do that for you, too.” She smiles, imagining a young Ben braiding Leia's hair. “Alright.” She slides down to the floor, and moves to sit in front of him. He gently takes her hair in his fingers, and she feels a pleasant tingle go down her spine. “I used to watch my mother doing it so often, she eventually asked if I wanted to learn how. The last time I braided her hair, I was 9 years old.” _Before his parents sent him to train with Luke._ “Did you resent them?” She doesn’t specify, but he knows what she means. “No. At least, not at first. I was just so upset, I hadn’t wanted to be a Jedi. I wanted to be a pilot, like my father. My favorite thing was going with him on the falcon. As I got older, my confusion as to why they seemed to fear me, turned to anger. Which Snoke used to his advantage.” He sighs deeply. “It didn’t help when I discovered my grandfather was Darth Vader, and my mother wasn’t the one to tell me. And you already know what happened after that.” She closes her eyes, and imagines a scared and confused young man, feeling betrayed by everyone closest to him. “I’m so sorry you went through that, Ben.”

  
He finishes with her hair, and his hands go down to rest on her shoulders, and he gently squeezes them. She reaches up to feel her hair, and smiles. It’s a braid crown, like what she’d seen Leia wearing frequently. She turns and looks up at him, taking his hands. “Thank you.” 

She raises up to her knees, and places a hand behind his neck. She pulls his face to hers, and their lips meet. It begins gentle enough, but then his hands go to her waist, and she gasps against his lips as he pulls her up and sets her on his lap. Her lips part, breathing him in. Their tongues meet, and she feels a wave of desire crash over her. Her hand roams over his chest, as his hand on her back pulls her closer. He pulls back just slightly, and the look in his eyes brings an unfamiliar warmth between her legs. She grabs his collar and roughly brings their mouths back together. His hand on the back of her neck wanders down, to her collarbone. His trails down her jaw, kissing all the way to her neck. “Ben.” She moans his name out. He groans against her neck, and again pulls away to look at her. She starts to protest, but he gently cups her face. “Rey, as much as I want to, I don’t think either of us are ready for this to go any farther right now.” They’re both breathing heavily, and part of her wants to tell him she is ready, that she wants this. But she also knows he’s right. She just nods and rests her head against his shoulder. “I-I need to use the fresher.” He mumbles. She looks at him with her brows furrowed, but before she can ask if he’s alright, she notices something bulging against her leg where its pressed to his groin. She feels a flush spread from her neck to her face, and she wordlessly removes herself from his lap. His face goes equally red as he stands and goes to her fresher and shuts the door. She puts a hand over her face _Kriff, I don’t know what came over me._

—

He stands leaned over the sink, running the water as cold as it can be and splashing it over his face. If her leg hadn’t been pressed against him, he might’ve been able to get away without her noticing his erection. _Maker, that was awkward._ He’d been lucky so far, and the times when she had pressed herself against him as they slept, he usually woke before she did. He had been able to readjust their positions so she didn’t notice when she did wake up. He leans his head against the mirror, trying not to think about how she had moaned his name. That’s what had really sent him over the edge. When he feels he’s settled enough, he takes a deep breath and steps out of the fresher. Rey is sitting cross legged on her bed, with her hands folded in her lap. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” She says, not looking at him. “Rey, you have nothing to apologize for.” He sits down next to her, taking her chin and making her look at him. “I know we both have no experience when it comes to… stuff like this.” He smiles at her. “But the good thing is, we have time to figure it out.” She smiles back. He stands, offering her his hand. “Now let’s go get some dinner.” 

—

They’re finishing their dinner, when Finn, Poe, and a pilot he doesn’t recognize come over to their table. “Hey Rey, Ben. How’re you guys tonight?” Finn asks, sitting down across from them. Rey raises an eyebrow. “We’re good. Are you drunk?” Finn chuckles. “Maybe a bit.” Poe pats him on the shoulder. “We may or may not have gotten a very nice box of Corellian whiskey.” Him and the unknown pilot laugh. “This is Dango, by the way. I don’t think you’ve met him.” Ben nods, pressing his lips together. Rey smiles, “Nice to meet you.” “Hey, I had an idea. Why don’t you two come join us? I was gonna go look for Rose, too.” Finn says to them. “Thanks for the offer Finn, but I don’t drink.” She turns to Ben. “You should go, though.” Ben's eyes widen. “U-uh, I don’t think-“ he stamers. _Ben, this is a good chance to get to know them better._ He takes her hand. _Then go with me. You don’t have to drink, just sit with me._ She smiles at him. _I need to get to bed, I’m tired. You’ll be fine, Finn likes you well enough. And if Rose goes, she’s friendly and easy to talk to._ “So? Let’s go!” Finn stands, and walks around to Ben, dragging him up. “Have fun!” Rey waves as they walk away. 

Rose, and Kaydel end up joining them. Rose doesn’t drink either, and Kaydel says she’ll just have a glass. Finn hands a very full cup to Ben, and refills it after he finishes it. “See Poe, he’s not so bad. I told you!” Poe just rolls his eyes, and takes another sip from his glass. “Whatever.” He has no animosity in his voice when he says that, and Ben takes that as a good sign. “Where did you guys get this, anyways?” Ben asks, setting his cup down. Dango clears his throat. “That would be thanks to me. I found someone who was selling it in the market.” Ben nods, and notices his head feels very light and fuzzy. He closes his eyes, pressing the back of his hand over them. “Kriff, have you never been drunk before?” Poe asks him. “Not really.” They all chuckle at him, and Rose pats him on the shoulder. “I’ve only done it once, so it’s ok.” Finn points at him. “Hey, finish your glass!” Rose swats at him, “Hey, don’t pressure him!” Ben just smiles, “It’s ok.” He finishes what’s left in his glass, and Finn cheers and pours him some more. 

An hour later, Ben is swaying back and forth in his seat, trying to listen to the story Poe is telling them. “And he didn’t believe me! He thought I was bluffing.” He snorts, taking another drink from his glass. “So what happened?” Kaydel asks him. “I was bluffing, of course, and then they threw me out of there.” They all laugh. Ben leans forward, setting his glass down. “I can’t believe you tried to cheat at Sabacc.” Poe frowns, pointing at him. “Hey, I wasn’t cheating. I was just trying to fool the people I was playing with. What do you know about Sabacc, anyways?” Ben shakes his head, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I could beat you, easily.” Poe scoffs, “Not likely, Solo.” Ben just smirks. “When Han Solo is your father, you learn a thing or two about turning the game in your favor.” Finn chuckles. “Man, you two have got to play sometime. That would be a sight to see.” Ben goes to pick up his glass and finish it, but he spills it on himself. “Woah, woah! I think you’ve had enough!” Finn takes the glass from him, and hands him a napkin. He stands, and grabs Bens arm, helping him to his feet. “I’ll help you back to your room.” He pulls his arm from Finns grasp, stepping away. “I’m fine.” But as he’s turning, his foot catches and he trips. They all laugh, shaking their heads. “Just let Finn help you.” Rose says. He grumbles, but doesn’t object when Finn grabs his arm again and helps steer him away. 

“You’re staying in Rey's room, right?” He asks him, when they leave the room. He just nods. “She’s really happy, and I’m grateful to you for that.” He smiles at him. They arrive at Rey’s door, and Finn knocks on it. A second later, a bleary eyed Rey opens the door, blinking at them. “Finn, is he drunk?” Ben smiles, and pulls Rey in for a hug, and leans down and puts his forehead on her shoulder. “Yea, I might’ve given him a little too much. Sorry. But we all had a good time!” Rey chuckles, and pats Ben on the back. “Thanks for bringing him back. Night.” “Night Rey.” She pushes him back slightly to look at him. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” She takes his hand, and pulls him towards the bed, and makes him sit down. She pulls his boots off for him, and then makes him lay down. “Go to sleep, you’re probably going to feel terrible tomorrow.” She starts to walk away, and he reaches out and grabs her hand. “Rey, where’re you going?” “I need to use the fresher.” He releases her hand, and lays his head back. “Okay.” He closes his eyes, and he feels like his head is spinning. He groans, and presses his hands to his eyes in an effort to stop the spinning. He hears the fresher door open, and then the bed shifts as Rey lays down next to him. He reaches out to her, and pulls her to him. She settles on her side and curls into him, resting her head on his chest. “Sleep, I mean it.” He smiles, and turns his head so his mouth is against her forehead. 

—

Rey grimaces when she wakes up, already feeling the familiar morning sickness churning. She sits up, and sees the fresher door is closed. “Oh, maker.” She realizes Ben is possibly feeling her sickness, along with his own from being hungover. She stretches, and grabs a sweater from her dresser and slips it on over her sleep tunic. The fresher door opens just then, and Ben comes out looking miserable. He flops back onto the bed, groaning. “Why did I drink so much yesterday?” She chuckles, and sits next to him, patting his leg. “I don’t think it was entirely your fault. Finn said he kept pouring you drinks.” He rolls to his side, wrapping his arms around her waist, and nuzzles his face against her side. She swats at him, laughing. “That tickles!” He just smiles up at her. Her breath hitches at the look on his face, and she moves his hair out of his eyes. “Maybe it’s time you get a haircut, it’s getting so long.” He closes his eyes, and rests his check against her side. They stay like that for a bit, until they’re interrupted by her stomach grumbling. He stands, and pulls her up. “Let’s go get you some breakfast.” She pokes him in the chest. “But not you?” “I don’t think I’ll be eating anything just yet.” 

She goes for some bland soup, and grabs some crackers, hoping they’ll help with her nausea. They see Rose and Finn sitting at their usual table, and join them. Finn grins when he sees them. “Hey, how ya feeling?” Ben just groans, and pulls out Rey's chair for her, then sits next to her. “Yea, me too.” He glances at Rey’s food. “How come you’re eating bland food? You feeling his hangover?” Rey just laughs awkwardly, and averts her eyes. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” It’d probably be a good idea to tell him about her being pregnant today. “Hey Finn, could we go talk somewhere private, after breakfast? Rose, could you come too.” They look at each other, and then at Rey. “Yeah, sure.” She nods, and starts eating her soup. 

Ben offers to come with her, but she tells him it’s fine, and sends him to go take a nap. Her hair is still mostly in the braid he did for her, but some strands have come out, and she twists one of them around her finger nervously. The three of them decide to go to the garden, since it’s a nice, sunny day. Rose and Finn sit on a bench across from her. “So, what’s up?” Finn asks her. She takes a deep breath, “I have something to tell you both. I should’ve told you sooner, but I just needed time.” They both raise their eyebrows at her. “I’m… pregnant. And Bens the father.” Roses mouth drops open, and Finn just gapes at her. He scrubs a hand down his face. “I knew you guys were staying in the same room, but I didn’t expect this.” Her face goes red, and she stammers out, “Wha- no, we didn’t- we haven’t-“ She takes another deep breath. “That’s not how it happened. It happened when he brought me back to life.” They both look confused. “Look, me and Ben don’t even fully know why, or how it happened.” She places a hand over her stomach. “But it’s a miracle nonetheless. And we’re happy about it.” She smiles at them both. Rose smiles, and get up and gives her a hug. “We’re happy for you, too.” She sits next to her. “Are you guys going to stay here?” “We plan to take up the queens offer and move into a house nearby.” Rose nods. Finn clears his throat. “Well, that’s crazy. But congrats.” She smiles at him. “Thank you, Finn.” He nods, and stands. “I’m gonna go check on Poe.”

He leaves them alone, and Rose turns to her. “So, I don’t mean to pry; and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to; but you and Ben have never… been together?” She raises an eyebrow. Rey looks down at her hands. “No. We’ve… come close though.” She glances up at Rose. “Have you?” Rose smiles shyly, her checks going pink. “Yes, but only once. With Finn.” Rey bumps her shoulder against hers, “Can I ask if it was… painful?” Rose looks down, embarrassed. “It was at first.” She smiles, looking back at Rey. “But I’m still glad it was with Finn. It was his first time, too.” Rey pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. “We came close recently, but I don’t know if either of us are ready for that.” “How’d you feel when you found out you were pregnant?” She turns her head back to Rose. “I was kind of scared at first. I didn’t know how or why it happened, I didn’t know how Ben would react. But I’ve always wanted a family. Growing up on Jakku, I never thought I’d have children. It just wasn’t practical; I was barely able to provide for myself, let alone take care of another person. And all the men on Jakku were unsavory, and terrible people.” She closes her eyes. “But Ben is, I guess you could say, my soul mate.” “Really? That’s so romantic.” Rey opens her eyes, chuckling. “Yeah, I guess it is. Part of the whole dyad thing.” _“Do you think you’ll get married?” “Probably eventually. I don’t think I could ever be with anyone else.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I’m leaving for a week to go to California tomorrow, so I tried to make this chapter longer, since I don’t know how much I’ll be working on a new chapter while I’m gone. I also commissioned @buriedbloom on twitter for the beautiful artwork you see in this chapter 😭😭😭
> 
> And I really love hearing your guys thoughts on the chapter, it motivates me to write faster! 😆


	10. Happy little Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She rests a hand against her bump, and tilts her head. “Did I? I don’t remember saying I was only coming for that. Must be my pregnancy brain.” 
> 
> He rolls his eyes, and holds out his hand to her. “Let’s go to the market to get some food.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly just fluff, hope that’s okay 🥰

Ben stands from his kneeling position, and stretches out his neck. “I think that should do it.” He turns to look at Dameron, “I admit, I had my doubts. But I’m impressed.” 

Ben just nods, and gives an awkward smile, as he ducks his head. “I’m glad to help anyway I can. Just let me know if anymore X-wings start acting up.” 

Poe nods, and Ben takes his leave. He’d been helping with the upkeep of the ships, since many of them weren’t getting used these days. Rey had been doing it, but now that she was 23 weeks pregnant she had less energy, and getting under an X-wing with her growing abdomen proved to be quite the challenge. They were staying in a small house about 10 minutes away, but were still here about twice a week. He finds Rey in the kitchen, repairing the arm on a service droid. 

“If it keeps giving you trouble, let me know.” She steps back from the droid, and it nods at her. 

“Thank you so much, mistress Jedi! You are so very kind.” Rey shakes her head, a smile on her face. “I’ve told you, just call me Rey!” 

The droid again thanks her, and goes back to its duties. Ben chuckles and comes to stand beside her. “I thought you just came today to talk with Rose.” 

She rests a hand against her bump, and tilts her head. “Did I? I don’t remember saying I was only coming for that. Must be my pregnancy brain.” 

He rolls his eyes, and holds out his hand to her. “Let’s go to the market to get some food.” 

  
  


“I think this one is my favorite.” Rey says, pointing to a round orange fruit. 

“You said that about the other three here, as well.” He teases her. She reaches over and swats him on the arm, and he chuckles and tells the merchant they’ll take some of that one as well. As they walk around, Rey tries to take one of the bags from his hand, but he just pulls them out of her reach.

“Oh come on, I can carry some stuff.” He puts his free arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“I know you can, but I’ve got them.” She just shakes her head, and huffs out a laugh. “You’re impossible sometimes, Ben Solo.” 

“I know.” He says, with a proud grin. 

After they get a few more things, they load everything onto their landspeeder, and head back to their house. 

“Rose was hoping to come over soon, she said she got us something for the baby.” She says, as he helps her down from the speeder. 

“She’s welcome anytime.”

Rey smiles, and grabs one of the bags before Ben can, and sticks her tongue out at him. They go inside and put everything away, then Rey curls up on the couch with a bowl of fruit. 

“So did you feel anything else today?” Ben asks her, sitting down next to her. She swallows the piece of fruit she was chewing and smiles at him. 

“No, and you know I would’ve told you immediately if I did.” 

A few days ago, on one of the few occasions they were apart; Rey had felt a burst through the force, from their child. She had reached out to Ben right away, and he had rushed home, but it hadn’t happened again. Rey had been worried because she hadn’t felt much movement, but Dr. Propite has assured them it was perfectly normal. The heartbeat was healthy, and the baby was growing just as it should. Rey moves closer to him, and rests her head on his shoulder. 

“Leia said she had been able to feel you through the force as well, so I’m sure it’ll happen again.” 

He leans his head against hers, closing his eyes. He had expressed his slight worry that their child would be targeted by an outside force like he had been, but Rey had assured him they would be attentive and watch out for darkness around their child. She sets her bowl of fruit aside, and wiggles out from next to him. 

“Need to use the fresher.” She says as she stands and walks from the room. He picks up her bowl and takes a few pieces of fruit, and looks around the small sitting room, still in disbelief he has a home with Rey. The house wasn’t anything grand, just two bedrooms upstairs, and a combined kitchen, dining room and living room. They’d only been here about a month, so they didn’t have much furniture or decorations. He remembers the look on Rey's face when she first saw it, total amazement. It still brings a warm feeling to his chest. 

“Ben!” He jumps up and rushes to the fresher, 

“Rey! What’s wrong?” When he gets there, she stands with her hands on her stomach, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. 

“I felt the baby kick!” His eyes widen, and he grins. 

“Really? What’s it like?” She grins back at him, 

“Feel for yourself.” She grabs his hands, and presses them to her stomach. At first he doesn’t feel anything, but then he gasps, tears blurring his vision. He drops to his knees, pressing his forehead against her stomach. 

“I love you both, so much.” He stands, and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. He wipes the tears away from her face, and she wraps her arms around him, pressing her face to his chest. Ben didn’t think it was possible to be this happy. 

—

“Your little house is so cute!” Rose says, looking around. Rey smiles, and takes the small wrapped item Rose offers her. 

“It’s not much, but I wanted to bring a little gift for the baby.” 

“Aw, Rose. You didn’t need to bring anything, I’m just glad you came.” She unties the string around it, and pulls the wrapping off of it. 

Rey grins, “Rose! I love it! Thank you.” She holds the small blue knitted sweater to her chest, smiling at Rose. 

“I’m glad you like it! I made it myself, my sister taught me to knit a few years ago.” Her eyes unfocus slightly, as if lost in a memory. 

Rey pulls her in for a hug, and the baby kicks. Rose gasps and pulls back, “Was that the baby?” Rey chuckles and pats her stomach. 

“It was, they’ve been very active lately.” 

“Would it be ok if I… touch your stomach? I hope that’s not weird of me to ask.” 

Rey just shakes her head, “Of course not, I don’t mind.” Rose slowly reaches out and places a hand next to Rey’s own, and the baby kicks again. Rose’s eyes widen, and she grins. 

“That’s magical. How does it feel for you?” 

Rey scrunches her face, “That one wasn’t so bad, but sometimes they’re harder, or aimed inward. Those ones are worse.” She chuckles. 

Rose straightens, dropping her hand back to her side. “Do you know what you’re having yet?” 

“No, I kind of thought it would be fun for it to be a surprise? Ben was curious, but he said if I wanted to wait he didn’t mind. Do you wanna sit?” She gestures toward the couch. Rose nods, and they sit down next to each other. 

“Are you hoping for anything in particular?” Rey shakes her head, rubbing a hand down her belly. 

“Just that they’re healthy. Probably should start thinking about names, though. Maker, we probably need to start preparing a nursery, too.” She frowns, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with things to do. 

Rose pats her knee, “It’s okay, I think you’ve got some time. If you need any help, let me know! It’s kind of lonely around the castle these days. With Finn being gone with Jannah and Lando; I don’t even see much of Poe and Kaydel these days.” She sighs, leaning back on the couch. 

“How is Finn? Have you talked to him recently?” 

“Yeah, just two days ago, actually. He’s working with some of the ex troopers and helping them acclimate to life outside the first order.” She smiles, but her eyes seem a little sad. “He was so happy, it seems much more his calling then being a co general with Poe was. I wish I could find something like that for me.”

Rey frowns, and leans toward Rose. “I get it, I’m in the same boat. I have no interest in being ‘The Jedi’ everyone wants me to be, but I can’t tell what it is I do want to be. I have been enjoying going to the castle and helping repair stuff, but I don’t know.” She sighs, taking Rose's hand. “Maybe we can help each other find something.” 

Rose smiles, squeezing her hand. “I’d like that.”

—

Rey and Ben are at home, doing small chores around the house. Rey is washing the dishes, and Ben is dusting and tidying things up. She suddenly drops the cloth she is holding, and gasps. 

“Ben! I’m feeling something!” He quickly comes to stand by her, his eyes wide.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” 

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing bad, I’m feeling the baby through the force.” She takes his hands, and closes her eyes. 

He follows her lead, closing his eyes. He reaches out, and a wide grin spreads on his face. 

“I feel it, too.” 

It’s like a small heart beat, sending out thrums through the force. He sends his own gentle push back, and the thrumming speeds up, as if excited. Rey squeezes his hands and he opens his eyes to look at her. 

“How’d you do that?” He smiles, the look of amazement on her face being so cute.

“I’ll show you.”

—

It’s an hour later now, and they both sit curled together on the couch; all chores forgotten. Ben's hands are pressed against her bump, Rey’s hands over top of his. 

“I think he’s asleep, the thrumming is very faint now.” 

Rey raises an eyebrow, “He?”

Ben looks at her, scrunching his face in sudden guilt.

“Kriff, I’m sorry Rey. I know you said you wanted it to be a surprise. I accidentally saw your file when we were there last. I’m sorry, I can’t believe I just let it slip out like that.” 

Rey smiles, shaking her head. “It’s ok, Ben. I did want a surprise but,” her eyes fill with tears. “we’re having a boy!” The tears slip down her checks, and Ben wipes them away. 

“We’re having a boy.” He repeats, his heart full. 

Rey takes his face in her hands, and presses their lips together. His hands go around her, pulling her closer to him. Her hands drop to his chest, leaving chills where her fingers trail. 

“Ben…” she says his name in a breathy whisper. The way she says his name makes him groan, and he pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against hers. 

“Rey… are you su-“ she interrupts him, “Yes, yes I’m sure.” She starts to tug on the bottom of his shirt, but he gently pulls her hands away. 

“Not here.” He stands, and before she can question him, he scoops her up, holding her close to his chest. She yelps in surprise, but her arms go around his neck. 

He carries her to their bedroom, and sets her down on the bed. He pulls his shirt off, and Rey’s gaze roams over him, her mouth open slightly. 

He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “I love you, so much.” 

She smiles, “I love you, too.”

—

It was slightly awkward, and they had to take it slow since neither of them had done it before, but Rey still has a smile on her face and a slightly pink tinge on her cheeks thinking about it the next day. Rey is at the castle again today, tuning up one of the cleaning droids. Ben is in the hanger with Chewie, and they’re working on the falcon. 

The first time Ben met Chewie again, it had been tense. It was about 2 months ago now; Rey had stood next to Ben, holding his hand in an attempt to reassure him. Chewie had walked toward them, having finally come back to Naboo. They had suspected that he stayed away for as long as he had because of Ben, but they didn’t know for sure. Bens grip on her hand tightened, as Chewie stopped just a foot from them. They just stared at each other, when Ben finally spoke. 

“H-hello, it’s good to see you again. I know I have a lot to make up for, but-“ Chewie cuts him off, stepping forward and pulling him in for a hug. He growls softly, patting him on the back. ‘ _ Han wouldn’t want me to be upset with you, I just needed some time to remember that.’  _ Ben leans his head against Chewie’s shoulder, silent tears going down his face. “Uncle Chewie.” He mumbles, and takes a shaky breath. 

Rey had held her hands over her mouth, trying to hold back her own tears. Chewie looked at her over Ben's head, holding out a hand toward her. She dropped her hands, and stood beside them wrapping her arms around both of them. ‘ _ Han would be glad you two have each other.’  _

She stands, stretching out her stiff back and smiling at the memory. After that, the three of them had started working together on restoring the falcon, since it had taken a lot of damage during the battle on Exegol. Chewie had cried out in joy when they told him they were having a baby, and pulled them both in for a tight hug. 

“I’ll be back in a little, I need to grab some lunch.” She tells the droid. As she’s walking through the hall, she sees Ben come around a corner. 

She smiles wide when their eyes meet, and he comes to stand beside her, taking her hand. “Lunch time?” 

She nods, patting her stomach. “Your son is demanding food.” 

He chuckles, and starts walking with her toward the kitchen, “I’m more than happy to oblige.” 

She finishes off her bowl of stew, and before she even has to ask, Ben scoops some of his into her empty bowl. “Hey, I didn’t-“ “but you were going to, I know it.” She playfully elbows him, and huffs out a laugh. 

Rose plops down in the empty chair across from them. “Hey guys, how’s it going?” 

Rey smiles at her, “We’re good, how’re you?” 

“Great.” She smiles back, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I was hoping I could talk to you for a sec? If you’re free, I mean.” She mumbles, and looks down.

Rey drops her spoon in her bowl, and stands. “Absolutely,” she looks at Ben, “I’ll be right back.” Ben nods, glancing between her and Rose. 

They go and sit in their usual chatting spot in the gardens, and Rose bursts into tears before Rey can say anything. “Rose! What’s wrong?!” She puts her arm around her shoulder, and rubs her arm. 

Rose hiccups and wipes at her eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t meant to be all hysterical like this. It’s just Finn hasn’t contacted me in a while, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with Jannah or Lando either and I just…” she shakes her head and covers her eyes with her hands. 

Rey frowns, “I’m sure they’re alright, if anything had happened, Poe would have heard. And you know he would’ve told you right away.” 

Rose nods, wiping her eyes again. “You’re right, I know. But I keep thinking about it, and worrying about it, and then I start crying again.” 

Rey has a sneaking suspicion, but she can’t confirm it yet. 

“Rose, how else have you been feeling? Has there been anything else weird happening lately?” 

Rose thinks for a second, sniffling. “I haven’t been sleeping well, but I just figured it was because I was worried about Finn. And I haven’t had much of an appetite either.” 

Rey purses her lips, “Could you be…. pregnant?” 

Roses eyes widen, and her mouth drops open. “No! There’s no way…” She’s quiet for a moment. “Well, I guess I don’t know.” Her eyebrows press together, and she frowns. 

“You should go see Dr. Propite. I’ll come with you, if you want me to.” Rey says, patting her shoulder. 

Rose nods, “I do, I really do.”

Dr. Propite comes back in the room holding her holo pad, “You’re pregnant, about 6 weeks.” Rose groans, dropping her head into her hands. 

“Finn isn’t even here, and I don’t know if he’s okay! What am I gonna do?” She starts to cry again, and Rey hugs her, trying to comfort her. 

_ Kriff, Finn. Where are you? _

_ Rey? Is that you?  _

She gasps,

_ Finn? Are you okay? _

_ Yes, how are we doing this again? I’ve been trying to do this for  _ months _ - _

_ Finn! That’s not important right now. Rose needs you, why haven’t you been reaching out? _

_ What? What’s wrong? Is she okay?  _

She sighs, looking at the crying rose leaning on her shoulder.

_ Mostly, but seriously what’s been going on? _

_ We’ve been in a total dead zone, I sent a message out before we came here, I thought it got through. Kriff! _

She rubs Roses arm, “Rose? I’m communicating with Finn right now, he’s okay.” 

Rose pulls back from Rey’s shoulder suddenly her eyes wide, “Where is he?! Why hasn’t he been responding?!” 

“They’ve been in a dead zone, I guess he tried to get a message to you but it didn’t go through.” 

Rose wipes her face, “Well, can he get somewhere he can call me? I  _ need _ to tell him about this.” 

Rey nods, “Yeah, I agree.” She closes her eyes, focusing back on Finn.

_ Finn, can you get somewhere so you can talk to Rose? It’s pretty important. _

_ I don’t know, I can try, but it wouldn’t be until tomorrow. Can’t you just tell me? _

Rey mentally rolls her eyes.

_ Sorry, but this is a conversation you two need to have yourselves. _

_ Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Tell her to be expecting my call sometime tomorrow. _

She opens her eyes, and Rose is standing with her arms wrapped around herself, and an anxious look on her face. 

“He’s going to try and get somewhere tomorrow, so be expecting a call from him then.” 

Rose breathes out, looking a bit relieved. “Thank you, Rey. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Rose decided to go lay down after that, and Rey is walking back toward Ben when she feels a strong kick from the baby. 

She stops walking and places her hands over her stomach, “What’s wrong, jogan?” Rey had started calling the baby jogan after she had gotten intense cravings for them near the start of her second trimester. Ben had thought it silly, but he’d been using the nickname, too. 

The baby sends out a thrill through the force, and she gasps.  _ Ben? Something’s happening.  _

She resumes her walk toward where she left him, waiting for a response.  _ Ben?  _

Her heart rate picks up as he still doesn’t respond, and she quickens her steps.  _ Ben! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sort of cliff hanger end to this chapter, but let me just reassure you that this story does have a HEA. After TROS, how could I not write a happy ending? I’m starting to get feel for when this story ends, but not to worry, there’s still a good amount of chapters left. As always, thanks for reading and please leave me feed back! I honestly get so happy when I see new comments! 🤗


	11. I’ll always come back to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you’re going to tourture it out of me?” He can’t help the smirk that comes to his face. “Oh my, I’m shaking in my boots.” He’s actually barefoot at the moment, but that's not important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg! I’m so sorry this took me so long 🥺 I was really struggling to write this. I’m not even completely satisfied with it, so I apologize if it’s not very good. Please enjoy! And I appreciate any feedback!

They don’t know how they got in here, they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know why they took Ben. Security camera shows three masked individuals carrying an unconscious Ben into a shuttle and taking off. It was a good thing she’d been standing close to Poe when they’d seen the footage, he’d managed to catch her before she hit the ground. She’d woken up in the medical room, Rose sitting next to her and holding her hand. When she realized it hadn’t been a dream, and Ben was really missing, Rose had given her a shoulder to cry on. 

She sits in a chair in one of the meeting rooms now, half listening to what Poe is saying. It’s not that she isn’t interested, she is just constantly trying to reaching out to Ben through their bond, trying to sense him. 

“... looks like there’s a cuff or something on him.”

Her head snaps up at that, “What?”

Three sets of eyes turn toward her, and Poe points back at the projection. 

“He wasn’t wearing anything like this before, was he?”

She focuses her gaze on the image of an unconscious Ben, ignoring the lurch in her heart at the sight. He has a thin metal cuff on his left hand, and she furrows her brows. 

“No. He never wore anything like that. Do you have any ideas as to what it might be?”

Kaydel clears her throat, “I might have an idea. I worked closely with General Leia for some time, and she had mentioned running into some people who claimed to have a way to cut people off from the force.”

Rey sits forward in her seat, “Cut people off from the force? How?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember her mentioning specifics. She said they’d tried to track the people down, but came to a dead end.”

Rey feels lightheaded, and there’s a loud ringing in her ears. _Is that why I haven’t been able to reach him?_

She closes her eyes, and leans her head against the table.

“Rey, are you feeling okay?” Poe asks, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“No. I think I need to lie down.” She stands, and Poe goes to follow her. She shakes her head, putting a hand on his arm.

“Thank you, but I can make it by myself.”

When she gets back to her room, she lets the tears fall. She pulls her boots off, and puts back on one of Ben's sweaters she’d brought from their home. It was large enough that it fit over her stomach, and she’d been sleeping in it since he’d been gone. She curls up on her side, resting her hand on her stomach. Her tears drip down her face, onto the pillow.

_Be with me. Be with me. Be with me._

She feels the baby kick right where her hand rests, and squeezes her eyes shut. 

_Rey_

Her eyes snap open, and she sees Ben standing next to her. “Ben!” She starts to sit up, but he sits down next to her and puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t get up, I can see how exhausted you are.” He wipes the tears away from under her eyes. 

“Where are you? How are you here right now?”

He shakes his head, “I can’t tell where I am. I don’t even know how the force is connecting us, I still have the cuff on.” He holds up his left hand, showing her the metal cuff. “I’ve just been meditating, focusing on you and trying to get through, and it finally worked.” He places his hand over hers on her stomach. 

“How can I help you? How can I find you?” Her voice shakes, and he squeezes her hand. 

“Just being here with you is helping. Knowing you’re okay.” 

She takes a deep breath, unable to control her panic, “I shouldn’t have left you alone, I should’ve stayed with you, then you wouldn’t-“ 

He puts an arm around her, and leans down to kiss her forehead, “No, I’m glad you weren’t with me. They would’ve taken you too, Rey.”

She just nods, but feels more tears leak from her eyes. He leans back slightly, and she takes the chance to look at him. His left eye is swollen, and his lip is split. She starts to see him fade away, and she sits up, clutching his hand. 

“No, stay! Please!”

He looks sad, and holds on to her hand, “I would if I could, sweetheart. I love you.” 

“I love you.” She whispers, and then he’s gone.

~~

Another week goes by before they get a lead. Rey walks as quickly as she can to the meeting room, which is more of an aggressive waddle. 

“Rey!” She turns and sees Rose catching up with her. “What have they heard?” 

“I don’t know, Poe just told me to get here as quickly as I could.”

When they get there, Poe is leaning over the table with Kaydel close by typing into her holo pad. He turns when she comes in the room and straightens. 

“Good, you’re here. Finn and Jannah caught a lead on the planet they’re on, some guy they were following started talking about progress on force suppressants. It might not be him, but it’s our only lead.”

Rey nods, feeling slightly dizzy. “What’s the plan?”

Poe stands and crosses his arms. “Me and a few other people are gonna join Finn and Jannah, follow this guy to wherever his base is, or capture him and get him to tell us.” 

Rey takes a deep breath, “I want to go.”

Poe just sighs, shakes his head, “Rey, come on. You’re 6 months pregnant. Not even just that, you’ve barely been eating.” She begins to protest, but he just silences her with a look, “No, Rey. I’m sorry.”

She huffs, and scowls at him, but stays silent. He looks at her sadly, before turning back to Kaydel. 

“We’re planning to leave tonight, and with no idea how long we’ll be gone, I’m leaving Kaydel in charge. But I was hoping you’d assist her, if needed.” He glances at Rey, and she sofens her gaze, and nods. 

“Of course.” 

A corner of his mouth raises slightly, before there’s a knock on the door. They both turn to see Beau pop his head in. 

“The ships loaded, General. We’re ready when you are.”

—

Rey was insisting on staying with Kaydel, waiting to hear they had made it safely to Finn and Jannahs location, but Rose just places a hand on her shoulder and reminds her it’ll be a few hours. She lets Rose guide her back to her room.

“I’ll probably try to get some sleep, too. I haven’t been able to rest much since…” She rubs a hand down her still flat stomach. 

“It’ll get a little easier, later on.” Rey says, trying to force a smile. 

“I know, it just sucks till then.” Rose smiles, then takes her hand. “You don’t have to pretend to be okay, you know.”

Rey takes a shaky breath, feeling tears start to well up. “I know, but I fear if I don’t, I’ll fall apart.” 

Rose hugs her as tight as she can manage, with Rey’s belly in between them. 

“Get some sleep, okay?”

Rey just nods and closes the door behind Rose. She sits down on her bed, and decides to try something first. She crosses her legs, and closes her eyes. Taking deep breaths, she thinks _Be with me. Be with me. Be with me._

She feels a warmth settle around her, and opens her eyes to see Leia standing before her. 

“Leia. Is he alright?”

The older woman smiles sadly. “He’s alive, that’s all I can say for sure. I would’ve felt it, otherwise.”

Rey nods, feeling a tad bit relieved. Leia comes to sit beside her, and tucks some of her hair behind her ear. 

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’m trying,” her voice cracks, “but it’s so hard without him. Not knowing if he’s hurt, or where he is.” She rubs tears from her eyes. “Is it always like this? Loving someone?”

Leia just sighs, crossing her hands in her lap. “I’m afraid so. It’ll be even harder with your own child.”

Rey puts a hand to her stomach, pained to think about being separated from them. She doesn’t even know them yet, and she loves them so fiercely. Leia places her hand over Rey’s, and smiles at her. 

“You and Ben will be amazing parents, better than me and Han ever were.”

__

Ben jerks awake from another nightmare, gasping for breath and curling into himself. 

_It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real. Rey is safe, our baby is safe._

His grips at the cuff on his wrist, wishing he could destroy it. But no matter what he tried, it couldn’t be taken off. He felt stifled, like he was drowning without the force. 

He hears heavy first steps outside of his cell, and sits up, preparing for whoever comes through the door. It’s a man he hasn’t seen before; he has a crooked nose and a busted lip. He looks bored, as he leans up against the wall across from him. 

“So you’re the infamous Kylo Ren,” he says, with a raised eyebrow. “I expected you to be bigger.”

Ben stares at him, keeping his face blank. “What do you want from me?”

“We want to know where General Hux is being kept.”

“Even if I knew, what makes you think I’d tell you?”

The man chuckles, and crosses his arms. “That’s what I’m here for.” 

“So you’re going to tourture it out of me?” He can’t help the smirk that comes to his face. “Oh my, I’m shaking in my boots.” He’s actually barefoot at the moment, but that's not important.

The man's arms drop to his sides, and he takes a step toward him. “We’ll see how long you can keep that cocky attitude. You won’t be so smug when your little Jedi is brought here.”

Ben jumps to his feet, straining against the chain on his ankle. “If you so much as lay a hand on her, it won’t matter if I’m cut off from the force. I will tear you and everyone else in this place apart.”

The man just shrugs, turning to leave the cell. “We’ll see about that.”

  
  


It’s a few hours later, at least he thinks it's been a few hours, when he hears people shouting. 

_“How did they find us?! I want this place locked down, now!”_

Then there’s a loud explosion, and Ben has to brace himself to stay on his feet. There’s blaster fire, and more shouting. He hears movement outside his door, and he prepares to defend himself if need be. There’s a muttered curse, and then someone shoots the lock and the door swings open. 

“Solo, we’re getting you out of here.” Poe Dameron tells him, tossing him a blaster. 

Ben grabs it, pointing to the cuff on his wrist. “I need this off, I’ll be a lot more helpful.”

Poe turns to look behind him, “Finn, you have those keys we took off that guy?”

Finn steps into the cell, fiddling with a set of keys. “Yeah, but I have no idea which of these would take a force cuff off.” 

“Just try all of them then!” 

“Really, Poe? I hadn’t thought to try that!” Finn says sarcastically.

Ben holds his hand out, “Just let me see them.”

Finn hands the keys over, and Ben examines them all for a second before holding one of them to the cuff and it falls from his wrist. 

“Huh.” Poe says, and Finn just nods.

“So what’s the plan?”

“Hopefully finally being done with first order shit.” Poe mumbles, pulling out his communicator. “How’s it looking, Jannah?”

“ _I think we’ve got the last of them cornered here, general.”_

Poe nods, “Good, we got Solo. We’ll head to your location.”

“What even is this place?” Ben asks, following the two men out of the cell. 

“An old underground bunker, from the days of the Galactic Republic.”

Ben stops walking, “Wait, are we on Coruscant?” Poe and Finn both stop, looking back at him.

“Yeah. Our guess is these might be the people Hux was trying to contact.” Finn says.

“They wanted me to tell them where Hux was being kept.”

“Makes sense.” Poe says, as they resume walking to where Jannah is. 

Once they get there, they find Jannah and the others cuffing the few people left standing. 

“These are the ones who surrendered, the other ones tried to fire on us.”

“Do we know if we have the leader?”

Jannah shakes her head, “We’re not sure, they aren’t talking.”

“Good job, let's round these guys up and get out of here.”

Ben doesn’t sense the man coming up behind them and preparing to shoot them, but Finn does.

“Poe!” Finn shouts, reaching for his blaster.

Ben throws his hand out, stopping the blaster shot inches from Poe’s face. Finn wastes no time and shoots the man before he fires again. 

Ben huffs, “You should probably move out of the way.” 

Poe seems too stunned to move, and Jannah reaches over and tugs him toward her. Ben drops his hand, and the bolt shoots toward the wall. He crouches down, suddenly exhausted. Being cut off from the force must’ve taken a toll on him. 

“You saved my life.” Poe mutters. 

Ben pushes his hair out of his face, looking up at Poe. “You did come all the way here to rescue me.”

The other man shrugs, “Fair point.”

—

Rey paces back and forth, chewing her thumb nail. They hadn’t gotten a response from anyone in a few hours, and the last they heard they had arrived on Coruscant.

“Rey, please sit down. I’m exhausted just watching you.”

Rey stops, and sits down next to Rose. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”

Rose reaches over and squeezes her hand, “It’s okay, I understand. I’m just worried about you. You still haven’t been sleeping much, have you?”

Rey just shakes her head, and sighs. 

Someone pops their head in the room just then. “They’re back! They’re landing now!”

Everyone in the room rushes outside, Rose linking arms with Rey. She’s grateful for it, because her legs almost feel like they won’t move. By the time they get outside, they see Jannah coming down the ramp. 

“The mission was a success!” 

Cheers go around, but Rey is waiting for someone else to come off the ship. When she finally sees him, a sob escapes her mouth. He sees her too, and comes running toward her. 

“Ben!” She cries out, and then she’s being embraced by him. She presses her face to his chest, clutching at his torn shirt. 

“You came back…” she mumbles against his chest.

He pulls back slightly and cups her face, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I’ll always come back to you, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know why you think 🥺  
> The lovely art I commissioned for this chapter was made by [LP_artworks!](https://twitter.com/LP_artworks) She’s so awesome, I love this piece so much 🥰
> 
> Come stalk me on twitter! @lalaitskelcey2


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